The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Afrinus]

Originally Posted by Uncle Bob

No politics here [emoji3]





Attachment 245114

That's on it's way to the Capital... delivering "arguments" for the next session of the House....

[jeanathon]

Interesting. Maybe it is liberating to have cut all those politicians heads off.
What happens when a politician takes Viagra.
He/She gets bigger.

Originally Posted by bobnlesley

Looking from the outside an inability to do just that, does seem to be the major difficulty/problem with Murican politics; a large proportion of the US voting population appear to 'believe' their chosen Messiah and viciously denigrate any statement or action of the other side. In Europe - the UK & France most especially - we go in for a bit of denigration and certainly vote for our chosen party, but we don't 'believe' to that same degree.

Perhaps it's those few hundred years of extra history? But we've come to realise/accept that the politicians of whatever stripe are lying; we might still hope that the election of our chosen party will improve our lot, but we don't actually 'believe' it. Politicians as a generalisation are lying shysters (those kids who cornered the illicit cigarette/condom markets and stole your lunch money back in school) and are working to their own and their sponsors' benefit; our own chosen party's election might result in one or two more crumbs falling our own way, but it won't be significant.

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by Uncle Bob

No politics here


Attachment 245114

hmmm...not so sure. has a lot in common with politicians...maybe it's the next campaign bus ??

cheers,

[Jim Cate]

for those who are leery of LIFePO systems...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k1tbf8muMc

Jim

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Apple is planning on getting into the electric car manufacturing business.
When their cars are finally out in the market, it will be fully autonomous. The steering wheel will be optional. It will be sold separately for $5,500.
I’m also wondering if the car will have windows?

Before Elon Musk got into electric cars ...
... he was plain old Lon Musk.

Did you hear about new electric car from Germany?
It’s called a Voltswagen.

[bobnlesley]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

Interesting. Maybe it is liberating to have cut all those politicians heads off...

Yes! That's an idea worthy of re-introduction and could work well with modern technology and entertainment tastes:

Your run it like one of those celebrity TV singing/dancing/ice skating programmes. After a weekly political review programme each Friday evening the viewers phone in and pay to vote for who they think's been the worst. Then over the weekend the vote winner is beheaded during half time at the biggest soccer/football/baseball/cricket match which is shown on subscription TV. OK, perhaps not at the cricket grounds; that's a bugger of a game to play on a sticky-wicket.

At the end of each Parliamentary session the remaining politicians could be teamed-up along party lines (coalitions allowed) and fight it out in MMA cages or better yet, recreations of Gladiatorial Arenas - all shown pay-per view - After which you give each of those remaining a crappy trophy and a well paid job as a pundit/judge/commentator on the next series.

Not only would you immediately weed out the worst of the politicos, but you'd quickly move on/out the long-term bench warmers too, whilst creating massive revenue streams which could be used to reduce taxes and provide universal health care.

What's not to like?

[GordMay]

The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly...
The further north you go, the more southern it gets.

Recently, I’ve been suffering from seizures.
First it was the car, then the house, then the boat.

And, if those weren’t bad enough:

Q: What do a dead person and a boat have in common?
A: The wake comes after they pass.

Q: What do you call a journey south east, planned out on a map?
A: Some good downright navigation.

Q: What do Sperm Banks and sailboats have in common?
A: Practically nothing,

Q: What's the difference between a homeless man and a boat captain?
A: One has a boat.

Q: What do you call a package of documents, sent via boat?
A: Pier to pier file transfer!

[bobnlesley]

Originally Posted by GordMay

The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly...
The further north you go, the more southern it gets.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Q: What do Sperm Banks and sailboats have in common?
A: Practically nothing,

They both contain Seaman.


Did you know a small sailboat is legally considered a “Confined Space” by OSHA but for some reason is not enforced.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by bobnlesley

The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly...
The further north you go, the more southern it gets.

That’s because a lot of New Yorkers have moved down there.

[HopCar]

Originally Posted by delmarrey

That’s because a lot of New Yorkers have moved down there.

Or as we like to call them “Damnyankees” . Note the spelling. The word Yankee is never used unless proceeded by damn.

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by HopCar

Or as we like to call them “Damnyankees” . Note the spelling. The word Yankee is never used unless proceeded by damn.

What's the difference between a yankee and a damnyankee?
The damnyankees are the ones that stay.

[skipperpete]

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by skipperpete

Attachment 245273

Obviously when looking bow on.