The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by delmarrey

One was cast aluminum. The other was 316 SS.

Oh my. I worked with a welder who could do the perfect welds in cast aluminum.
Charlie. A&A industries. He was a treasure!!
Stainless all day long. Aluminum? Yup.
I had a gooseneck on my boat that he rewelded and every clued in person who saw it said “who did that!”
Btw that shop did a lot of large part ( bigger than a car) vacuum welding. My 15 foot long boom was lost in a corner of the shop.

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by GILow

Yes, I can see how that would be confusing. Usually it is referred to as an Albury-Wadonga. Which is bigger, but not quite twice as big.

You are mixing systems there - a Wodonga is a Victorian measurement - while an Albury is part of the New SW system - which includes the Woy Woy and the Grong Grong.

An Albury is bigger than a Wodonga thus an Albury-Wodonga is more than twice as big as a Wodonga.

A Wodonga equals 10 Wycheproofs which in turn equals 10 Patchewollocks.

PS I live within a few hundred wombats of Wodonga - noboby up here ever uses 'Albury-Wodonga.' You are talking about either one or the other.

[SailRN]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

YPS I live within a few hundred wombats of Wodonga - noboby up here ever uses 'Albury-Wodonga.' You are talking about either one or the other.

That a few hecto wombats, or hWombats.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Attachment 245495

I remember when you could buy after market turn signals to install in a car/truck that didn’t come with them.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by delmarrey

Once had a hemorrhoid that was the size of a walnut shell.

Or was that an ass-teroid? Either way, it burned like hell.

Ah, someone who uses proper EL Reg units.
1 Walnut = 5.112 cubic inches
or
0.16 grapefruit
https://www.theregister.com/Design/p...converter.html


Alternatively, in proper FFF units that would be 0.0103 cubic nanoFurlongs

[skipperpete]

[ChrisJHC]

And it looks like the UK is considering going back to Imperial measurements for some uses:

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/s...rtyr-638vfn655

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

You are mixing systems there - a Wodonga is a Victorian measurement - while an Albury is part of the New SW system - which includes the Woy Woy and the Grong Grong.

An Albury is bigger than a Wodonga thus an Albury-Wodonga is more than twice as big as a Wodonga.

A Wodonga equals 10 Wycheproofs which in turn equals 10 Patchewollocks.

PS I live within a few hundred wombats of Wodonga - noboby up here ever uses 'Albury-Wodonga.' You are talking about either one or the other.

And in addition to the Woy Woy and the Grong Grong, there are also the Dee Why and the Wagga Wagga...!

For those not familiar with New South Welsh Measurement Systems, A Wodonga is not quite equal to an Albury, but if you subtract a Murray you get closer.


Of course, if you then add a Darling to the Murray, so you have a Murray/Darling, it all gets seriously out of shape. And much water and many court cases beccome involved.


A Wagga Wagga is similar to an Albury, but even adding a Grong Grong and a Woy Woy won't get you to an Albury/Wodonga.


And while a Dee Why might look on the surface like a fraction of a Woy Woy, they're really not even close.


However, I suspect much of this mathematical speculation was begun by the son of a former resident of Woy Woy, one Spike Milligan, who opined that Woy Woy was the world's largest above ground cemetary, as it was where his parents retired to.


He could never quite understand why, although less than an hour north of Sydney, it was surrounded by Brisbane Water which, while not something you'd care to measure (or drink) can, in fact, be an interesting place for a sail.


Not far away is the somewhat oddly named Pitt Water, which, contrary to expectation, is not the pits at all, but is also an exceptional place for a sail, and is approximately a Woy Woy away from Dee Why.


It leads to one of the mysteries of Australian East Coast navigation - as no-one to this day has explained why the mouth of the Hawkesbury River is called Broken Bay. It's not broken at all, and works perfectly well as a seaside or sailing destination. Despite having a headland named for a non-reproductive kangaroo - Barrenjoey.



But, accordingly to local scuttlebutt, the nearby area known as Palm Beach is full of wankers. Although equidistant from Dee Why and Woy Woy, not even a doubling of value of either of those, or any attempt to conflate them together is likely to produce the same result.


NSW math is sometimes inexplicable....even to the residents...


Pinguino, I'll see your Wombats and raise you a Platypus, two Echidnas and a Swamp Wallaby. But willing to accept three Padamelons, an Emu and a Red-tailed Black Cockatoo instead.

I can be found less than twenty Wombats from Banda Banda, where no music has ever been played, and have been to Booti Booti, which similarly features no rap musicians, nor their large-buttocked ladies, as perhaps one might expect.

Not far from Dee Why is the imaginatively named beachside suburb of Curl Curl, not after Shirley Temple, but possibly an indicator of why surfers flock there.


On the motorway connecting Curl Curl, Dee Why and Woy Woy, is the district of Mooney Mooney, where you will see neither bare bottoms nor rocket launchers which, given the name, seriously doesn't add up.


A little further north is Wangi Wangi, which used to be an excellent truckstop before the motorway sidelined it. Like Woy Woy and Curl Curl, it too is on the water's edge but, apparently, this has nothing to do with the naming of any of them.


Tilba Tilba, on the other hand, about an Albury/Wodonga and two Wagga Waggas south of Sydney, allegedly indicates 'many waters' in the local indigenous dialect. So the fact that this is a bluff above the Tasman Sea is probably helpful at some level.


Unlike China, where two Wongs definitely don't make a White, the practise of measurement using towns can be confusing. What is not confusing is that the Australian symbol for infinity 'beyond the Black Stump', cannot in any way be equated with the establishment or disestablishment of a franchise of so-named steak restaurants in the Seventies.


From this we learned that two Black Stumps will never equal a McDonalds chain. This is a similar fiction to that being perpetrated on Australia by those attempting to convert McDonalds to 'restaurants', rather than a series of non-food outlets.


For as every dinky-di Aussie knows, a hamburger is not a hamburger without a slice of beetroot. A slice of cheese and a pickle do not a slice of beetroot equal.


It's complicated, Aussie math....

[GILow]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

You are mixing systems there - a Wodonga is a Victorian measurement - while an Albury is part of the New SW system - which includes the Woy Woy and the Grong Grong.

An Albury is bigger than a Wodonga thus an Albury-Wodonga is more than twice as big as a Wodonga.

A Wodonga equals 10 Wycheproofs which in turn equals 10 Patchewollocks.

PS I live within a few hundred wombats of Wodonga - noboby up here ever uses 'Albury-Wodonga.' You are talking about either one or the other.

Well there you, I’m a typical townie, I’ve always felt like an Albury is smaller than a Wodonga.

Of course, when I lived in country Victoria the smallest unit of measurement was a Metcalfe. It was so small that when a tree fell on the fire station you ended up needing to use calculus as it tended to zero.

[Buzzman]

Not sure about your Metcalfe, but every country town sale yard is perennially choked with Poddy Calves....

While owning several may be a measure of success, I'm not sure it follows for distance or mass.

Generally, I've always understood distance to be measured in string - the length of which is apparently infinitely variable. If you ask an Aussie "how long is a piece of string?" you will likely get a different answer every time.

Which is perhaps why Australia adopted the Metric system, as it's based on increments of 10, and generally speaking most Aussies can count to ten on the fingers or toes.

Of course, this system is prone to difficulties in Tasmania, where the locals have not only two heads but also six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. This is due to genetic experimentation by familial homozygosity, a factor which is used when seeking to multiply utilising any Tasmanian. Proespective in-laws are prone to check whether there is a scar on the shoulder, and to double check that digits have not been removed from the sums in the equation, in an attempt to further confuse the issue.

In fact, Tasmanain math is so complex, they have physically separated from the rest of Australia, and would have become the West Island of New Zealand, except the Kiwis couldn't make the sums add up.


And this despite the use of hands, elbows, knees, thighs and chest beating, as part of their initial calculus.


Oddly, their all-white rugby football team was for many years called the All Blacks. As this became increasingly difficult to justify, rather than go for the more logical Black and Whites, the doubled down and changed the name to the Silver Ferns.


Which is particularly odd if you understand that most Kiwi ferns are, in fact, green, but goes no way to explain why their female cricket team, who wear a pink and black unioform, are referred to as the White Ferns - despite some of the team members being clearly Maori in origin.


If you think Aussie maths is complicated, don't ever ask a Kiwi about any of the above..!!

[Jim Cate]

^^^^^
thanks for explaining all that in terms that a visiting Yank (Seppo) can begin to fathom (roughly two meters (metres), Buzzer. I had been wondering why that when introduced down here in Tassie, folks, before shaking my hand, would scrutinize it carefully. I thought mebbe they were all amateur palmists, but now I understand...

And our Kiwi neighbors... I too wondered at the apparent error in the All Blacks name, for it seemed more appropriate to some Yank gridiron teams. I'm glad that others have been confused as well.

It is a confusing world that we inhabit. Thanks be that we are all yotties at heart and can overlook such details as units of measure, other than always being ready to say that mine is bigger than yours... whatever the subject might be.

Jim

[Buzzman]

Yeah, we Tasweegians like to keep things in the family....nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.


[My maternal grandmother was born and raised in Strahan. My sister-in-law is also from Hobart. I have skin in the game, as we say....]


Well, if we're talking lines, mine's always going to be longer than yours, even though you've probably been shooting them at people for longer than I have.


Shooting a line, when the string is infinitely variable, ensures the whale always escapes....

Here endeth the math lesson.

[ChrisJHC]

Another intricacy of Aussie measurements is that we use time instead of distance.

For example, how far is it from Sydney to Melbourne (by car)?
About 9 hours.

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Not sure about your Metcalfe, but every country town sale yard is perennially choked with Poddy Calves....

Metcalfe is a small Victorian country town. When I was in the area the population was about 12, +/- 1 fire truck, depending on the weather.

Do NOT get me started on the subject of maths in Tasmania, though your description may go some way explaing what I've seen down here.

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by ChrisJHC

Another intricacy of Aussie measurements is that we use time instead of distance.

For example, how far is it from Sydney to Melbourne (by car)?
About 9 hours.

Ahh! But this, too is time related.


For example, at the present moment, no-one from Woy Woy, Curl Curl or Dee Why is able to vector a path that leads to a Victorian point on the space/time continuum.

And, in order to avoid 'LGAs of significance' in Sydney (significant because COVID is rampant there and they are in total lockdown) from Banda Banda via Woy Woy, to get past Sydney and down to Wagga Wagga and Albury/Wodonga, I'd have to go via Orange, which then throws colour into the distance/time equation.


And let's not talk about the delays at the Murray Border, which is not a relation of cricketer Alan Border, but somewhere to draw the line between NSW and Victoria, where you first need to add Wagga Wagga and then subtract Albury from Wodonga in order to get through the COVID border controls.


So, pre-COVID the answer might have been "9 hours".


These days, it's pretty much anything goes. Which is probably why you don't want to have a Blue while you're in Orange, as this could only further delay things.


A Blue in Oz is equivalent to one Altercation elsewhere in the universe.


And nothing to do with a Rugby Blue from Cambridge or Oxford.



Which may explain why the All Blacks have never played in Orange, as it would almost certainly have led to a Blue with the Green and Gold.


And getting caught in a Blue in Orange with the All Blacks and the Green and Gold could add immeasurably to the time/distance travelling to Melbourne.

But, as Einstein himself once said (bet you didn't know he was Tasmanian?) - "time is relative".


You do know there's a reason the Australian Antarctic Division is based in Hobart? Science, time and distance are all relative, and therefore Tasmanian in origin.


Which could also explain why the Beagle stopped into Hobart enabling Mr Darwin to stretch his legs, in a relative way, before going on to discover his Origins on the Galapagos, where he most assuredly did indeed behold the blue-footed booby that so excited Maturin just a few years earlier.


Or, at least, I think that's what he told Russel Crowe who was, for some reason, both Master AND Commander....



Science and sailing. We're all one big happy family, and so, all Tasmanian.


You heard it here first!