The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[MicHughV]

let's cut to the chase here....

I challenge any male sailor to ask their wife or significant other to explain what a
"3/8" Allen wrench" is....
Note I said " Allen wrench" this a rather simple tool....I can easily come up with more complicated items...

Off course, in the USA it's a "wrench" elsewhere in the world it's known as a "spanner"

In the USA you open the "hood" of your car...elsewhere, it's the "bonnet" .....the "trunk" is the "boot"....etc, etc....

I can go and on....these are but simple differences between "english" speaking countries...if we can't come to terms on these simple "examples" of basically a common language....how on earth are we to tackle the larger problem??

But somehow or another the word "f**k" has nor seen any metamorphosis, it remains "f**k" regardless of country of origin, language spoken, etc.....there is no mistaking this word, now matter who says it in whatever language from whatever country.. a whole language has evolved around this single word, which can be used as a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, pronoun, etc, etc.....my first visit to Scotland introduced me to the work "fook"...as in "fook off"....but I didn't need an interpreter to explain the meaning...

The mind boggles.....

[Afrinus]

It's an Allen KEY, for voksakes man...[emoji3]

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Does anyone aside from me, the city of boston and google maps measure in Smoots?

Yes.. Cambridge too. The border is in the middle of the river.

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by Afrinus

It's an Allen KEY, for voksakes man...[emoji3]

And named for the Allen Manufacturing Company of Hartford Connecticut.

I only know this because I have a piece of marketing it theirs that came from my grand dad.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Afrinus

It's an Allen KEY, for voksakes man...[emoji3]

Yup, (blurry septics again)
They both apply torque but:
key - goes inside a hole.
wrench - wraps around the outside.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Q: How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
A: All the red flags.

Q: Why shouldn’t you try to tell everything you know.
A: It may take too short a time.

Q: How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person, and an unvaccinated person, if they aren't wearing a mask?
A: Ask them who won the last US election.

[GordMay]

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman [from Alabama], as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.'

'Don't worry about it Daddy, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. A limousine will pick you up at your door.'

'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?'

'Oh, Daddy', replies the president-elect, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom made by the best designer in Washington.'

'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.'

The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Daddy. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in Washington , I'll ensure your meals are salt free Daddy, I really want you to come.'

So Dad reluctantly agrees, and on January 20, 2025, the first woman [from Alabama] is being sworn in as President of the United States . In the front row sit the new president's Dad and Mom.

Dad leans over to the Supreme Court Justice sitting next to him and whispers, 'You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States.'

The Justice whispers back, 'Yes I do.'

Daddy says proudly, 'Her brother played football for the University of Alabama.'

[GordMay]

Covid is not a joke, and should be taken seriously.
One former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election, he actually lost by millions of votes.

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by dfelsent

Yes.. Cambridge too. The border is in the middle of the river.

My boat is just under 8 smoots long. We have a 12 smoot mast and a 1.43 smoot keel

[MicHughV]

lass
wench
hot potato
piece
stacked
babe
lass
lady
signora
chick
gal
miss
broad
sheila
jane
weaker sex
bint
skirt
filly

using any of these "different"words, I'd be describing what ???

[goguygo]

You would be describing to your buddies how you got the black eye.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by Afrinus

It's an Allen KEY, for voksakes man...[emoji3]

For some Machinists it’s known as a hex key or wrench. There are also hex bits and drivers, some with a hollow tips, known as security bits. There are many names for L-wrenches. Some are star or torx key/wrenches. And some hex’s are ball end. And they all come in SAE or Metric. Then there are mini star/torx for cell phones, watches and other small electronics.
I hope that tallies that up.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

lass
wench
hot potato
piece
stacked
babe
lass
lady
signora
chick
gal
miss
broad
sheila
jane
weaker sex
bint
skirt
filly

using any of these "different"words, I'd be describing what ???

You for got BEoch and the “C” word.

[Jim Cate]

et's cut to the chase here....

I challenge any male sailor to ask their wife or significant other to explain what a
"3/8" Allen wrench" is....
Note I said " Allen wrench" this a rather simple tool....I can easily come up with more complicated items...

Not much of a challenge, mate. My wife not only knows what such a tool is, what it is used for and why one might use an Allen (socket head to purists) screw instead of some other fastener, but would likely ask if I was sure that I didn't want the 10 mm one instead 'cause I was working on the engine, which uses metric stuff.

You need to hang out with cruisers... most of their wives know stuff like that.

Jim