The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[AKA-None]

Originally Posted by StuM

Yup, (blurry septics again)
They both apply torque but:
key - goes inside a hole.
wrench - wraps around the outside.

So I have a key?

[MicHughV]

I beg to differ, Jim, in a 40 year career afloat, while I've met, and known, a fair amount of women that were technically savvy, and were awesome crew mates and sailors in every sense of the word...their tool knowledge was sadly lacking. That simply was not their" thing".
Your wife is clearly, head and shoulders, above the rest, as noted by her often responses to one or another topic.
I count my wife, in a similar manner, she can change the tire on a car with the best of men, plus dismantle a diesel alongside me, but still refers to some tools as that " thingy with the screwdriver bit on the end". I don't fuss about it, simply nod my head and say, yes, that's the one.

[carlosproa]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Covid is not a joke, and should be taken seriously.
One former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election, he actually lost by millions of votes.

🤣 that is great

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

let's cut to the chase here....

I challenge any male sailor to ask their wife or significant other to explain what a
"3/8" Allen wrench" is....
Note I said " Allen wrench" this a rather simple tool....I can easily come up with more complicated items...

My wife has a set of nut drivers, insulated screw drivers, a voltmeter, electric drill, BNC crimp tool, 100 ton masters license and more. These predate me by over a decade.
Her father was a carpenter and sailor. His father a pattern maker and sailor. For her, it came with the territory.
The challenge for me would be dealing with the fallout of asking her if she knew what an Allen wrench is. Not doing that!

[MicHughV]

I take my hat off to those women/sailors that are skilled with tools...I have come across some....not many, but some...and their knowledge and ability was/is a cut above...
but, it's clearly the exception, not the rule.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

I beg to differ, Jim, in a 40 year career afloat, while I've met, and known, a fair amount of women that were technically savvy, and were awesome crew mates and sailors in every sense of the word...their tool knowledge was sadly lacking. That simply was not their" thing".
Your wife is clearly, head and shoulders, above the rest, as noted by her often responses to one or another topic.
I count my wife, in a similar manner, she can change the tire on a car with the best of men, plus dismantle a diesel alongside me, but still refers to some tools as that " thingy with the screwdriver bit on the end". I don't fuss about it, simply nod my head and say, yes, that's the one.

It would be great to hear Ann's input on this.

My guess is that over the years assisting Jim, Ann learned so much that she could take over whenever needed.

In the past 16 years with Zaida, I have watched her become an intuitive assistant when helping me fix things.
With English as a 2nd language, she does make up her own words for special tools and I simply start calling them that to make it easier for her

Lately, I have come to appreciate her ability to see potential problems, when I'm upside down, making repairs...
... and she warns me to be careful
PRICELESS !

[skipperpete]

Originally Posted by dfelsent

And named for the Allen Manufacturing Company of Hartford Connecticut.

I only know this because I have a piece of marketing it theirs that came from my grand dad.

And there’s this, named after?

[AKA-None]

Originally Posted by skipperpete

And there’s this, named after?Attachment 245636

Richard Nixon?

[JPA Cate]

Tricky Dick? By that standard, maybe Clinton was Trickly Dick?

[StuM]

Originally Posted by AKA-None

So I have a key?

Reminds me of the joke about the nun and the mother superior talking about the priest that ends with the pumchline:
"The b*st*rd always told me it was Gabriel's trumpet ...."

[ChrisJHC]

Originally Posted by AKA-None

Richard Nixon?

Given it’s a UK company, probably not.

[goboatingnow]

I worked for a competitor to Allen. We had to always say “ hex head or hex key “ , never Allen key

[GordMay]

My wife calls me a sex machine.
I mean, her actual words are “f#%@ing tool”, but we all know what she’s trying to say.

I’m looking for a married woman, recently cheated on, mad, and scorned ...
... who is willing to sell her husbands tools, for cheap.

It turns out there are TWO Loch Ness Monsters. One of them is quite mean, but the other actually gives away his forestry tools.
A little weird, sure, but it's always nice to see some random axe of Kind Ness.

Q: What is the king of all tools?
A: The Ruler.

Q: What tool best deals with traumatic events?
A: A coping saw.

Q: What tool do you use to open an egg?
A: A hatchet

Q: What do you call a math tool that supports farming vehicle rights?
A: Protractor.

Q: What do you call a jacknife with all the tools removed?
A: A Swiss Navy knife.

[SailRN]

[MicHughV]

An american steps into an Irish Bar in Dublin, waves a $100 bill in the air, and in a loud voice challenges anyone in the pub to drink 10 pints of Guinness in row...
He is met with a bunch of sad faces, 'cept for Mick, sitting at the end of the bar, who can be seen giving this some thought, but then he gets up and leaves.

30 minutes later, Mick walks back into the pub and asks the American if the bet is still good.
The American sez yes, and Mick proceeds to down 10 pints of Guinness in a row.

Stunned, the American asks " say, weren't you the guy sitting at the end of the bar a moment ago ?"

"Ayr" Mick replies " I wasn't sure if I could do it, so I walked down the other pub at the end of the road, to see if I could do it first"