The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[skipperpete]

[jeanathon]

What did one fly ask the other fly?
Is this stool taken?

[GordMay]

The Risk - Reward equation:

A wise man once said, "Nothing worth doing is without risk ..."
Well, he almost did, but he was worried someone might laugh.

It is now recommended that high risk groups take mud baths, when infected with COVID-19.
It won't save you, but it will help you get used to the feeling of the dirt.

Studies have shown that, people with more curves, have a much higher risk of catching COVID-19.
Scientists are working hard, to flatten the curve.

I know many people have been appalled, by reopen protestors, risking public health, for questionable reasoning.
But, just remember 2-3% of em’ will be dead, in the next few months, anyway ...
.... Not from Coronavirus, but from fireworks accidents, and ATV rollovers.

Although COVID spreads mostly through the mouth, & nose ...
... scientists now conclude, the greatest risk comes from a__holes.

[GordMay]

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective ignorance, was the lack of access to information?
Well, it turns out, it wasn’t that.

I got a free iPad and iPhone today.
It’s like, this gun is magic!

Q: How do you know that your cat’s a free thinker?
A: It poops outside the box

[skipperpete]

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by skipperpete

Attachment 246943

I Saw that one years ago with a different caption

"You have to peel them first, otherwise they are too chewy "

[Tayana42]

My father used to torment my brothers and me with this poem by Ogden Nash. Now, I find myself tormenting my grandchildren with the same recitation.

A FLEA AND A FLY

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Tayana42

My father used to torment my brothers and me with this poem by Ogden Nash. Now, I find myself tormenting my grandchildren with the same recitation.

A FLEA AND A FLY

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Do Fleas Fly?

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Do Fleas Fly?

No.
Fleas have no wings, and cannot fly.
Fleas have a crustacean-like underbelly with six incredibly strong legs. Four legs are stationed on the sides of their bodies, for short-distance crawling, and two legs are in the back, which give the fleas their stellar jumping abilities.
Their back legs push them up to 150 times their own height, or around 8 inches, from one place to another.

[JoeRobertJr]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Do Fleas Fly?

Originally Posted by GordMay

No.
Fleas have no wings, and cannot fly.

Counter point: People have no wings, but still manage to fly often, roughly 6 million per day.

The flee flew out the flue on the fly.

[GordMay]

Flea Quiz:

Q: How to fleas travel?
A: Itch hiking!

Q: What do you call a cheerful flea?
A: A hop-timist!

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!

Q: How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
A: Start from scratch!

Q: What is the difference between a flea bitten dog. and a bored visitor?
A: Ones going to itch, and the other is itching to go!

Q: What do you call a mad flea?
A: A looney-tic

[Tayana42]

For the flea and the fly time flew by.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by JoeRobertJr

Counter point: People have no wings, but still manage to fly often, roughly 6 million per day.



The flee flew out the flue on the fly. [emoji2]

True..... so if the Flee was fleeing on the Fly who was the one flying, was the Flee considered a pax in search of peace?.... or would they simply be performing a pax de deux?

[HopCar]

Moderators, Please install a Groan button.

[Yellowtulip]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Do Fleas Fly?

Yes, like anyone else as in “escape rapidly”.

You can also “let fly” and “be fly”.
You can assert “there are no flies on me”.
You can take a “flying leap”, or just a “flyer”.
You can post a “flyer” through someone’s door.

And of course you can do and undo (or forget to) your flies.

Versatile word, fly.