The New Joke Thread

[john61ct]

That's what she said

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

That is a cunning trick, but those of us with a giving personality in bed, automatically knew it to be false[emoji14]

I would guess if you're on your back with your tongue out, you have other important things to think about! 😻

[socaldmax]

That's what she thought.

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

That's what she thought.

They think?

[StuM]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

It's extremely easy if you're lying on your back.

As the actress said to the bishop!

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

That is a cunning trick, but those of us with a giving personality in bed, automatically knew it to be false[emoji14]

Yeah, but you could still have a stupid smile on your face!

good one, mate!

Jim

[Jim Cate]

Oh, and I'm reminded of when I was an undergrad at Stanford, the University's debate team won a debate. The usually staid student newspaper wrote it up with this headline:

Cunning linguists devour opponents.

In those still kinda Victorian times, it was pretty risque!

Jim

[socaldmax]

Victorian era: 1873 to 1901.

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Victorian era: 1873 to 1901.

Stanford University: founded in 1885. So an overlap exists, right?

And Jim Cate was born.... well, do we really know when?

So its possible..... right?

[socaldmax]

Oh, I'm not doubting it.

Just realizing how far jokes have come in the last 150 yrs.

[svmariane]

Young girl to father: “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”

Dad: “Do you see those 4 trees? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”

“Um, Dad - there are only 2 trees.”

[svmariane]

Same girl, years later...

"I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes.
He had tears in his eyes.
Then he hugged my sister and me."

[svmariane]

This just in....

United Parcel Service {UPS} and Federal Express {FedEx}
are finalizing their merger.

The new company will be called Fed-Ups.

Film at 11....

[StuM]

Pedantry is fine, when it is accurate

"still kinda Victorian times"

Dictionary.doc:
Victorian:
adjective 1.of or relating to Queen Victoria or the period of her reign: Victorian poets.
2.having the characteristics usually attributed to the Victorians, especially prudishness and observance of the conventionalities.

Merriam Webster:
Definition of Victorian
1 : of, relating to, or characteristic of the reign of Queen Victoria of England or the art, letters, or tastes of her time
2 : typical of the moral standards, attitudes, or conduct of the age of Victoria especially when considered stuffy, prudish, or hypocritical

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by StuM

Pedantry is fine, when it is accurate

"still kinda Victorian times"

Dictionary.doc:
Victorian:
adjective 1.of or relating to Queen Victoria or the period of her reign: Victorian poets.
2.having the characteristics usually attributed to the Victorians, especially prudishness and observance of the conventionalities.

Merriam Webster:
Definition of Victorian
1 : of, relating to, or characteristic of the reign of Queen Victoria of England or the art, letters, or tastes of her time
2 : typical of the moral standards, attitudes, or conduct of the age of Victoria especially when considered stuffy, prudish, or hypocritical

Thanks, Stu... I'm glad someone around these parts is literate...

And for the record, no, I was not born. According to my good ole mother, I was found under a cabbage leaf, and the animal rescue folks wouldn't take me in...

Jim