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Saleen411 · 09-12-2018, 08:07

How about a Sunday morning golf joke. BTW, does anybody have any idea what percentage of cruisers carry their sticks with them?...............

Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized
that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front
of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly
in the temple, killing her instantly.

A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force-trauma
to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple,
is that correct?"

Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."

Coroner: "Well, inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged in her ass."

Verne: "Was it a Titleist 3?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Verne: "That was my mulligan."

Kir2 · 09-12-2018, 08:24

Awesome thread

socaldmax · 09-12-2018, 10:38

I never understood why my wife always started conversations off with:

"You didn't hear a damn thing I said!"

Eigenvector · 09-12-2018, 20:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

Sunday bonus joke...

y=mx+b jokes are nice and all.

But at some point, you're got to draw a line.

IMHO, these are so bad they're almost funny.

m = you're heading down a slippery slope there Lake Superior..........
(@ Buzzman = engineering joke)

Buzzman · 09-12-2018, 20:40

Sigh. Ok. You've outed me. What's the joke.....I didn't get it....

Eigenvector · 09-12-2018, 20:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Sigh. Ok. You've outed me. What's the joke.....I didn't get it....

The equation for a straight line is Y=MX+B where B= is the Y axis intercept and in my nerd reply, M is the slope of the line.

Sorry to out you.

GILow · 09-12-2018, 20:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eigenvector

m = you're heading down a slippery slope there Lake Superior..........
(@ Buzzman = engineering joke)

Only if he’s negatively inclined.

Buzzman · 09-12-2018, 21:04

I'm inclined to accept that explanation....but, level with me - straight up, now - and don't be line to me: does it ever end?

Eigenvector · 09-12-2018, 21:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buzzman

I'm inclined to accept that explanation....but, level with me - straight up, now - and don't be line to me: does it ever end?

You can't have it both ways

Level is: Y=B or Straight up is M=∞, X

Let's move on to something more axymtotic............

Buzzman · 09-12-2018, 21:20

OK, but does the line ever end..??

john61ct · 09-12-2018, 21:28

Yes if you continue to observe or measure it.

Soon as your attention wanders, maybe maybe not, depends on your POV.

Note a quantum mechanic can get his car in the garage without opening the door.