The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[ontherocks83]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Now these are F U N N Y

[Buzzman]

Once had a head teacher named Michael Hunt.

He hated being called Mike Hunt.

We kids, of course, nicknamed him 'Total'.

Well, he was, OK..!?!

[socaldmax]

[boden36]

Buzzman's story about the teacher reminds me of when we owned a country pub.
A joker would ring up and ask for Mike Hunt - the pretty young barmaid would put it over the PA. They only ever got caught once!!


Regards,
Richard.

[Buzzman]

Jeez, Richard, I sure hope your surname isn't Head...!!!!

[socaldmax]

Sent to me by a lady friend...

[Therapy]

Anybody seen my mizzen mast?
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It's mizzen.

[Halifax Sailor]

and from the great white north.......................

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Dolphins are more talkative than porpoises. Dolphins make whistling sounds through their blowholes to communicate with one another underwater. Scientists are pretty sure that porpoises do not do this, and some think this may be due to structural differences in the porpoise’s blowhole.
Source: /oceanservice.noaa.gov

To find your Porpoise name, dive deep into the water until you run out of breath and then make gurgling noises.

[br3nt]

That got dark quickly.

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by br3nt

That got dark quickly.

You think?

[jmorrison146]

A sailor walks onto a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender asks, "Where did you get that?" The frog says, "It started as a wart on my ass."

[delmarrey]

I called the doctor today.

Me: "Eileen is going into labour! What should I do?"

Doctor: "Is this her first child?"

Me: "No, this is her husband."