The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

This guy must live in the Philippines.

[svmariane]

#Meanwhile

In the category of "Ï don't have a joke so let me tell you a story".

So my wife and I were living in up-country Thailand, close to the border with Laos. Our house was near the front inside a gated community, with businesses along the road outside the gate. The closest place was a restaurant/bar with live music in the evening. The band always - always - ended the night with the same song: "Hotel California".

What we found funny was, with the initial chords of that particular song, from right behind our back-garden wall came the trumpeting of a group of otherwise quiet elephants. They didn't stop until the band stopped. Apparently, those elephants liked "Hotel California" but thought the music needed some "brass" sounds!

(Or maybe, since the band really wasn't that good, it was the elephant equivalent of thank god they're about to finish, now we can go to sleep!)

Maybe you had to be there.

[Pelagic]

Loved the story.... Much better than Karaoke and dogs howling here in the Philippines [emoji4]

[socaldmax]

Awesome story!

That's one of my favorite songs! Funny coincidence, yesterday I thought, "I haven't played that song in a while" so I cranked up the "Hell Freezes Over" live version, which is my favorite. I'm sure my next door neighbor was wondering what was shaking his foundation at 1pm in the afternoon. LOL

[Waterdog247]

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Loved the story.... Much better than Karaoke and dogs howling here in the Philippines [emoji4]

Yeah? Remind me to tell the story about how my non-Thai speaking Bavarian wife (the only blond haired blue eyed woman in town) reacted this one evening while I was out of area and from the jungle a snake came slithering into our living room.

Bedlam! The Thai army responding to a reported in-progress assassination attempt against their Commanding Colonel (who was our next-door neighbor, hence the gated community). Soldiers in battle kit arriving by the truckload. The twinkling of red and blue emergency lights on police patrol cars and firetrucks and ambulances, all arriving with sirens screaming. The thumping of helicopters with searchlights circling low overhead. Madness!

Oh. Seems I just gave the book jacket summery.

35 Most Venomous Snakes of Thailand. Most venomous, mind you, not all of them.
https://www.thailandsnakes.com/south...nomous-snakes/

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Waterdog247

Attachment 189969

It appears to be some sort of trans-species food product. At the very least, it has a major identity crisis!

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by svmariane

Yeah? Remind me to tell the story about how my non-Thai speaking Bavarian wife (the only blond haired blue eyed woman in town) reacted this one evening while I was out of area and from the jungle a snake came slithering into our living room.

Bedlam! The Thai army responding to a reported in-progress assassination attempt against their Commanding Colonel (who was our next-door neighbor, hence the gated community). Soldiers in battle kit arriving by the truckload. The twinkling of red and blue emergency lights on police patrol cars and firetrucks and ambulances, all arriving with sirens screaming. The thumping of helicopters with searchlights circling low overhead. Madness!

Oh. Seems I just gave the book jacket summery.

35 Most Venomous Snakes of Thailand. Most venomous, mind you, not all of them.
https://www.thailandsnakes.com/south...nomous-snakes/

Let me guess. After you got home and heard what happened, she insisted that she did nothing wrong and it was entirely your fault for not being at home to take care of the snake for her.

Am I close?

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]