The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

one for the punsters...

[El Pinguino]

Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

[LakeSuperior]

A little known fact...

Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

[LakeSuperior]

Son : Can you tell me what a solar eclipse is, dad?

Dad : No son

[LakeSuperior]

I was shocked when I came home and saw that the curtains were drawn.

Luckily the rest of the furniture was real.