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Old 11-12-2019, 12:16   #7681
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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Old 11-12-2019, 12:29   #7682
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Old 12-12-2019, 03:11   #7683
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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...guys, the morning here in Tahiti is good - youall with your jokes just made it absolutely TOPPPS!!! Big thx
Have you seen the ugly duckling around? She has a solar panel hanging off the arch now.
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Old 12-12-2019, 03:33   #7684
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Re: The New Joke Thread
What’s the fastest liquid on earth?


Milk – it’s pasteurized before you can even see it.
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Old 12-12-2019, 05:00   #7685
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Old 12-12-2019, 05:26   #7686
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Re: The New Joke Thread
One day Jesus was delivering a sermon to his flock. "The path to the Lord lies at y=x^2−4x+2".

A passer-by leans over to Peter and whispers "what's he banging on about?"

Peter replies "don't worry, it's just one of his parabolas"
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Old 12-12-2019, 05:27   #7687
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Re: The New Joke Thread
What do you call all the little rivers that flow into the Nile?

Juveniles.
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Old 12-12-2019, 05:28   #7688
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Re: The New Joke Thread
I love to solve integral equations while hammered...

Some call me a functional alcoholic.
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Old 12-12-2019, 14:58   #7689
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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Have you seen the ugly duckling around? She has a solar panel hanging off the arch now.
Haven’t seen her, but plenty of REALLY ugly ducklings & ducks!
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Old 12-12-2019, 15:26   #7690
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Old 12-12-2019, 15:27   #7691
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Old 12-12-2019, 18:23   #7692
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Re: The New Joke Thread
And now, something completely different.

(I'll wait while you get your coffee....... Ready? Okay.)


Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."

Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."

Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."


Okay, okay... I'm leaving now...
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Old 12-12-2019, 18:48   #7693
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) used that line in the latest Terminator flick. You could almost predict when she was gonna use it. Perfect!
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Old 12-12-2019, 22:15   #7694
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Re: The New Joke Thread
spoiler
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Old 12-12-2019, 23:29   #7695
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) used that line in the latest Terminator flick. You could almost predict when she was gonna use it. Perfect!
Sort of like Scotty & his repeat of "It's ... it's ... it's green."
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