Visit our Popular Forums

Eigenvector · 22-12-2019, 13:09

Festivus starts tomorrow. Maybe I start an separate thread for the grievances and another for the feats of strength.

**GordMay** · 22-12-2019, 15:56

"Well Spoken, My Good Fellow, But Let Me Retort" Says Senator, Engaged In Probing, High-Minded Debate On Facts And Merits Of Impeachment.

**StuM** · 22-12-2019, 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by GordMay

"Well Spoken, My Good Fellow, But Let Me Retort" Says Senator, Engaged In Probing, High-Minded Debate On Facts And Merits Of Impeachment.

Presumably you are quoting The Onion?

https://politics.theonion.com/well-s...ays-1840399399

socaldmax · 22-12-2019, 19:45

socaldmax · 22-12-2019, 19:50

A blonde goes to her local pet
store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she
looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says:
'SEX FROGS'

Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers
softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the
instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and
reads them very carefully She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.

2.Splash on some nice perfume.

3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.

4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and
allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING
happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions .. Please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right
over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The
blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to
the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . . Looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly
into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

LISTEN TO ME!!

I'm only going to show you how to do this

ONE MORE TIME...