The New Joke Thread

[smbdyiam2]

Originally Posted by weavis

Given the political climate, let us leave all politics aside in the jokes...

yes that would be political correct. Ooops that doesn't sound right to use those 2 words in same sentence.

[GordMay]

[jeanathon]

What did one politician say to the other?
Not sure. Neither one of them listened. ☺

[LakeSuperior]

The U2 spy plane took many pictures during its military career.

But it still hasn’t found what it’s looking for.

[Tom_F]

[carlosproa]

[carlosproa]

[johnny AoB]

The Friars of the Floral Business
by Dave Springer

Some friars in a little Scottish town were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so - thereby proving that . . .Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[Jim Cate]

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Good one, mate! I love it...

Jim

[LakeSuperior]

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked 'Is it on or off?'

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

Attachment 211768

I laughed out loud at this one, so thanks carlosproa!

[JoeRobertJr]

"I can't go because of corona-virus."
- whiny
- boring
- weak

"I have sworn an oath of solitude 'til the blight is purged from these lands."
- heroic
- valiant
- Many will assume you have a sword

[Jon Hacking]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

Attachment 211769

Some would say these are pure-bread dogs...

But to me, they look too in-bread...

[Tom_F]

Apologies for the profanity but this was too good not to share

[StuM]

I ran out of toilet paper and am now using lettuce leaves. Today
was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow Romaine’s to be seen.