The New Joke Thread

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

The test is whether or not it's funny. The Titanic one is mildly funny because it's partly true and passes the test.
Some of the previous deleted trump bashing posts were just bashing and not funny so did not pass the test.
I'm polish and like polish jokes as long as they are funny, but if they are just put downs you might want to be careful.

That is pretty much it, in a nutshell. We are way more tolerant in the joke thread cause most jokes are offensive to someone, blonds, polish etc.
However in all honesty it’s just better to let anything that can be considered political to go unposted, because it often starts what I’ve learned are called bun fights, and people have in the past been banned because of the fighting, and none of us want that.

[jeanathon]

In that case.
Why don't Polish women breastfeed their babies?
Hurts too much to boil their nipples.

[jeanathon]

Did you here about the fire at the circus?
It was Intents!

[jeanathon]

What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

You think the Rrrr, but it's really the C.

And I'm spent...

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

... However in all honesty it’s just better to let anything that can be considered political to go unposted, because it often starts what I’ve learned are called nun fights, and people have in the past been banned because of the fighting, and none of us want that.

I recently read a report*, that a convent in southern Italy has been shut down, after a fistfight broke out, between the three remaining nuns, there.
Since these nuns now are left with a lot of free time, no steady work, and few marketable workplace skills, there appears to be only one obvious choice …
Pay-per-view Nun Fight.
Admit it, you’d kinda wanna see it too.
* ➥ BBC NEWS | Europe | Feuding nuns force convent demise

[LakeSuperior]

Why is the forest floor covered in leaf litter?

Because nature abhors a vacuum!

[LakeSuperior]

A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...

And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."

[LakeSuperior]

Have you met Eric? He's a genie. He's not special or anything.

He's just Djinn Eric.

[a64pilot]

I noticed I typed nun instead of bun, I went back and changed it.
I’m on an IPad and can’t type worth crap to start with, the virtual keyboard makes it worse.
I could use my laptop or Chromebook, but the IPad is just so easy to pick up.

I end up editing most of my posts correcting typing errors, but I still miss some.

[delmarrey]

Now, I know why I can’t spell worth a schit .

Autocorrect on my iPad has become my worst enema.

[Eigenvector]

What's Orange and Dingle Dangles?

[socaldmax]

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Six or nine are the recommended optimal numbers. Please ensure that each person has their own, individually assigned, Coast Guard approved PFD. While some women may bring customized floatation bags (encouraged) be wary of men who carry an innertube. The latter are not USCG approved PFDs.

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

From the "You can't possibly make this stuff up!" files...

Retired French defense contractor gets a ride in a French fighter jet as a retirement gift from his co-workers.

What could possibly go wrong?

https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a3...r-jet-joyride/

I feel so sorry for him. Premature ejection at his age?

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...

And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."

A recent GALLOP poll found this was the favorite joke on this thread. Well, it is at least the MANE one. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to saddle you with these bad jokes.