The New Joke Thread

[Buzzman]

I somehow managed to make it through high school maths while only being able to remember even numbers!!
What are the odds?
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Lookit...! I did a math joke....!!!!!! Woohoo!!

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Which was..???

It's an insult.


Same start: One's a sick duck ....

and finishes with a spoonerism:


the other suc........

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Which was..???

If you have to ask....

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Lookit...! I did a math joke....!!!!!! Woohoo!!

Now count the seconds until some maths nerd corrects you...

[Buzzman]

Well, I only copied it from another forum, so it ain't my fault if it's wrong....it's math, how would I know...????? lol

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Well, I only copied it from another forum, so it ain't my fault if it's wrong....it's math, how would I know...????? lol

Strangely, I hear much the same thing from my students.

[LakeSuperior]

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?

I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.

[LakeSuperior]

Puns are like sailboats.

The good ones right themselves.

[LakeSuperior]

What is the phobia of chainsaws called?

Common sense!

[LakeSuperior]

Anyone in need of jousting work?

I'm freelancing.

[LakeSuperior]

Some European explorers were traveling through the Amazon rainforest with some natives as guides when they started hearing drums in the distance. Puzzled the Europeans inquired, “We hear drums? What does that mean?”

The Natives answered, “When drums stop, very bad.”

Reluctantly the exploration continues. After 5 minutes the drums had started getting louder and the explorers started getting nervous. “The drums sound closer, and we think they are getting louder! What does it mean?”

“When drums stop, very bad.”

Doing their best to maintain composure the Europeans kept moving. About 5 minutes later the drums abruptly stop and the explorers panic. “The drums have stopped! What should we do?!”

“When drums stop, very bad, now comes bass solo.”

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by GILow

If you have to ask....

ask your mom!

[Eigenvector]

Given a ball with hairs all over it, it is impossible to comb the hairs continuously and have all the hairs lay flat. - Just Saying

Lost my train of thought......Joke Below.

[BlueH2Obound]

Not even on my very BEST day!

[svmariane]

There are only two hard things in computer science:
cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.