The New Joke Thread

[Buzzman]

Max I *know* that's funny, but, don't you think it might be a bit too soon...???

And there is probably an argument that it's borderline racist......

Although, for all WE know, the 'speller' might have been no-good, dumb-ass, trailer-trash, white honky sumbitch mudderf*****r....

These days, it's so hard to tell.....

[goguygo]

[IslandHopper]

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Max I *know* that's funny, but, don't you think it might be a bit too soon...???

And there is probably an argument that it's borderline racist......

Although, for all WE know, the 'speller' might have been no-good, dumb-ass, trailer-trash, white honky sumbitch mudderf*****r....

These days, it's so hard to tell.....

There's nothing racist about noting someone's inability to spell. I think it reflects poorly on their education, but that's about it.


OTOH, your post sure looks pretty racist. You only left out "redneck cracker." Don't worry, I'm white but I'm still laughing!

[Buzzman]

Max, it's the context that makes it 'racist'. The grafitto "I cant breeth" (i.e. I can't breathe) is clearly a reference to the recent death of an African-American male in Minneapolis, and is what the protesters - protesting the cruelty inherent in his death-by-police-officer's-knee - is that "black lives don't matter".
So, simply by repeating it or forwarding it you **appear** to be implying that people using that term, in this context, are not intelligent (i.e. "can't spell").
This in turn implies that, in this context, African-Americans are less intelligent than us white folks who caint spell neether.
Essentially, by 're-posting' you implicitly support the systemic racism inherent in the meme.
I'm guessing you actually don't, and, like me, could see the joke inherent in the meme.
But being funny don't make it not racist....
And for f***s sake don't get me started on those good-for-nothing, useless, Abos we got down here Down Under.
Think YOU got problems..???
[tongue VERY firmly in cheek]

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by IslandHopper

That reminds me...

On subs, we rarely surface to get GPS fixes, so we rely on Inertial Navigation systems to DR and constant depth readings to verify we are where we think we are. As time goes on from the last GPS fix, fix expansion keeps on getting larger until we can find a short window when foreign satellites aren't over head and we come up to periscope depth to get another GPS fix and fix expansion shrinks back down to a dot.

On my first boat, we had a couple of excellent COs, but one of the XOs was not liked at all. If he made a mistake or was irritated, or he did something wrong like get hickeys on his neck in the Philippines just before his pregnant wife showed up for an unscheduled shopping trip in Hong Kong, he had a tendency to take it out on the crew by calling field days (extreme cleaning) every day instead of once per week, as is usual. He also had a tendency to make a lot of mistakes. He went on to take command of his own sub and in 1988, he ran it aground on Fox Island, Washington. All of us on our boat were joking around that he was making them field day for the entire duration of the low tide while they waited for 4 tugs and high tide to yank them off the beach. Beaching a nuclear powered sub is a big deal because the coolant intakes for the reactor are at the bottom of the boat and for the duration, they were full of sand and partially out of the water, so the reactor had to be shut down and extreme power saving measures were used to run off the batteries and/or diesel until they could restart the reactor, which takes a lot of power and usually accomplished while connected to shore power via huge cables. Later on, we heard from their crew members that he did indeed call away field day while they were aground!

I moved on to shore duty teaching at Ford Island, in the middle of Pearl Harbor. One day when I looked out the hangar door I saw the same boat maneuvering out of port. Suddenly the lights went out and I joked that he had dragged anchor all the way from their berth and cut the power cable to Ford Island.

The next afternoon the power was restored and I overheard a guy saying that the boat had dragged anchor and cut the power cable. I told him that was just a joke I had started the day before. He said, "No, it's in the base newspaper, you accidentally guessed what really happened!" I thought to myself, "I know that guy so well I can almost predict what he's going to do!"

He barely managed to keep command of the boat by blaming another officer for dragging the anchor. I have no idea how he kept his command after the previous grounding incident, but he certainly wasn't following normal GPS fix intervals or normal navigation procedures!

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Max, it's the context that makes it 'racist'. The grafitto "I cant breeth" (i.e. I can't breathe) is clearly a reference to the recent death of an African-American male in Minneapolis, and is what the protesters - protesting the cruelty inherent in his death-by-police-officer's-knee - is that "black lives don't matter".
So, simply by repeating it or forwarding it you **appear** to be implying that people using that term, in this context, are not intelligent (i.e. "can't spell").
This in turn implies that, in this context, African-Americans are less intelligent than us white folks who caint spell neether.
Essentially, by 're-posting' you implicitly support the systemic racism inherent in the meme.
I'm guessing you actually don't, and, like me, could see the joke inherent in the meme.
But being funny don't make it not racist....
And for f***s sake don't get me started on those good-for-nothing, useless, Abos we got down here Down Under.
Think YOU got problems..???
[tongue VERY firmly in cheek]

In this case, it's not just black people who are protesting, it's a wide cross section.
There isn't a single person who isn't outraged by the murder of George Floyd and I personally think the officer who knelt on his neck needs to be charged with 1st degree murder and the other 3 officers with 2nd degree murder. Apparently the DA doesn't agree with me, but that might change. Who knows.

In the meantime, that was a spelling error and I thought the meme was funny for pointing it out. All of that other stuff you think is implied is in your mind and it's certainly not my interpretation of the joke.

If you think that's bad, Antifa is looting and rioting in my city and other cities all over. My friends are posting pics of their groups on their latest targets and their rifles, joking (I hope) about shot placement and "you loot, we shoot", except they aren't posting smiley faces.

I personally wouldn't joke about shooting someone, but for the sake of pretending we're still civilized, I'm telling myself that they are only joking.

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

This must be a full service bank. Those crazy Russians!

With the riding crop in the logo I assume they knew what they were naming the bank.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

With the riding crop in the logo I assume they knew what they were naming the bank.

Apparently it started as a 2019 April Fools joke. They then took it to a banking expo.
Supposedly:
"The text says “The bank of your bonding”. The distributed printed matters stressed strictness of the bank’s internal routines, their deep knowledge of bonds, as well as individual follow-up of clients on the part of dedicated personnel in possession of a rich array of banking implements."

[LakeSuperior]

A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up.

The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old.

By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes
skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it.

So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished.

He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old
and both your father and your grandfather are alive?

Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at least once a
season and surfing once a week during the summer.

Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old,
and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106-years,
why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said,

"Did I say he wanted to?"

[LakeSuperior]

I was in a bad mood earlier because the wife accused me of always trying to be clever.

After hours of awkward silence, she finally asked, "What's the matter?"

I replied, "It's the basic structural component of the universe."

[LakeSuperior]

Everyone was so excited at the autopsy club...

It was open Mike night.

[LakeSuperior]

There has been a lot of fake news going on about the Canadian Prime Minister lately.

Some of it is Trudeau!

[LakeSuperior]

Three drunken southern men are asking for one more round of drinks
The bartender says, “no way, you guys are way over the limit!”

The three drunk southerners keep insisting.

The bartender finally says, “Alright, whoever can name the southern most state in America gets another drink."

The first drunk shouts, “TEXAS! it’s where most people in the world think of when they hear about the south and our American culture!”

The second drunk says, “Florida, most of the wildest things come from there, people on drugs are always arrested for doing something barbaric!”

The third drunk slurs, “You’re both wrong, it’s Alabama, I’ve never seen so many confederate flags there in my life!”

Excited for another drink the three men look towards the bartender to tell them who won. The bartender silently makes the drink and raises it to his mouth, before drinking it he answers,

“Hawaii”

[Tom_F]