Cruisers Forum
 

Go Back   Cruisers & Sailing Forums > Scuttlebutt > Flotsam & Sailing Miscellany
Reload this Page The New Joke Thread
Cruiser Wiki Click Here to Login
Register Vendors FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Log in

Closed Thread
Page 963 of 998 « First 463863913953961962 963 964965973 Last »
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on Cruisers Forums. Advertise Here
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 8 votes, 4.38 average. Display Modes
Old 06-03-2021, 15:04   #14431
Registered User
 
Uncle Bob's Avatar

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,453
Re: The New Joke Thread
https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1615071864
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: lion.jpg Views: 317 Size: 26.6 KB ID: 233997  
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.

Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
Uncle Bob is offline  
Old 06-03-2021, 16:34   #14432
Registered User
 
Uncle Bob's Avatar

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,453
Re: The New Joke Thread
One for the anti-vax crowd.
Click image for larger version Name: no vaccine.jpg Views: 282 Size: 80.1 KB ID: 234001
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.

Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
Uncle Bob is offline  
Old 06-03-2021, 16:36   #14433
Registered User
 
Uncle Bob's Avatar

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,453
Re: The New Joke Thread
Click image for larger version Name: sex machine.jpg Views: 231 Size: 46.8 KB ID: 234002

Dumb? Who ME.
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.

Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
Uncle Bob is offline  
Old 06-03-2021, 18:38   #14434
Registered User

Join Date: May 2016
Location: Seattle Area
Boat: Catalina 36
Posts: 178
Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
San Miguel!


Buy me a beer we go to my place?
But your watch mister, buy you cigarettes?
Cat36Mahalo is offline  
Old 07-03-2021, 03:18   #14435
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 50,254
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
GordMay is online now  
Old 07-03-2021, 03:57   #14436
Senior Cruiser
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,891
Images: 2
pirate Re: The New Joke Thread
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Vicar walk into a Pub..
The barman looks up and says.. "What's this.. Some kinda joke.???
__________________

You can't beat a people up for 75 years and have them say.. "I Love You.. ".
"It is better to die standing proud, than to live a lifetime on ones knees.."

The Politician Never Bites the Hand that Feeds him the 30 piece's of Silver..
boatman61 is offline  
Old 07-03-2021, 03:59   #14437
Senior Cruiser
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,891
Images: 2
pirate Re: The New Joke Thread
Three nuns are sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine when a man leaps before them and flashes himself...
The first nun screams..
The second nun faints and the third nun has a stroke..
__________________

You can't beat a people up for 75 years and have them say.. "I Love You.. ".
"It is better to die standing proud, than to live a lifetime on ones knees.."

The Politician Never Bites the Hand that Feeds him the 30 piece's of Silver..
boatman61 is offline  
Old 07-03-2021, 05:06   #14438
Registered User
 
Sand crab's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Boat: 34' Crowther tri sold 16' Kayak now
Posts: 5,067
Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
Three nuns are sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine when a man leaps before them and flashes himself...
The first nun screams..
The second nun faints and the third nun has a stroke..

You are a bad bad man.
__________________
Slowly going senile but enjoying the ride.
Sand crab is offline  
Old 07-03-2021, 05:35   #14439
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 50,254
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread
I was sitting in traffic this morning, when I noticed the guy in the car next to me was playing an electric guitar. On the other side was someone doing the same, and behind me was a person on a full drum kit. In the car in front was a guy with a mic, screaming out some kind of song. None of the cars were moving, they were all just rocking on, playing music.

It was at that moment, that I realised I was stuck in the middle of a traffic jam.

***

A lawyer opened the door of his Tesla, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Tesla. "Officer, look what they've done to my Model S!!!", he whinged.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid Tesla, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was,
"Where's my Rolex?"
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
GordMay is online now  
Old 07-03-2021, 10:41   #14440
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
Re: The New Joke Thread
Romance
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: 157570982_154866883124820_4543694088819997307_n.jpg.7ddc7496122b69937430243899a3a7d5.jpg Views: 242 Size: 33.7 KB ID: 234081  
socaldmax is offline  
Old 07-03-2021, 10:42   #14441
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
Re: The New Joke Thread
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.

After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.

As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.

We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.

Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.

Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free Her (Try to get a mental picture of this.)

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......I just never saw one mounted and framed."
socaldmax is offline  
Old 08-03-2021, 02:50   #14442
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 50,254
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
GordMay is online now  
Old 08-03-2021, 02:53   #14443
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 50,254
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

***
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
GordMay is online now  
Old 08-03-2021, 05:43   #14444
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 50,254
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

***

****
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
GordMay is online now  
Old 08-03-2021, 20:21   #14445
Senior Cruiser
 
skipmac's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 29° 49.16’ N 82° 25.82’ W
Boat: Pearson 422
Posts: 16,306
Re: The New Joke Thread
Thought for the day
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: TftD.png Views: 200 Size: 265.0 KB ID: 234162  
__________________
The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.
Sometimes it's necessary to state the obvious for the benefit of the oblivious.
Rust is the poor man's Loctite.
skipmac is offline  
Closed Thread
Page 963 of 998 « First 463863913953961962 963 964965973 Last »

Tags
boat

« Dream boat | Fin Keel Vessel: Antarctica to Victoria, Australia »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Advertise Here
  Vendor Spotlight
No Threads to Display.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:10.

Contact Us - Cruisers & Sailing Forums - Sitemap - Community Rules - Terms of Service - Privacy - Accessibility - Top

Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
close

Privacy Guaranteed - your email is never shared with anyone, opt out any time.


ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.