The New Political Joke (only) Quarantine Bay.

[Montanan]

Q: What did the corrupt congressman order on Election Day?
A: Stuffed ballots.

[Montanan]

Q: What do you call a bad lawyer?
A: Senator.

[Montanan]

Q: Why do thieves never target politicians’ homes?
A: Professional courtesy.

[Montanan]

When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could become president. Now that I’m an adult, I believe it … and it gives me nightmares!

[Montanan]

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” —Ronald Reagan

[Montanan]

If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re probably running for president.

[Montanan]

Q: What’s the most unfair thing about American politics?
A: We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America.

[Montanan]

Waiting for results on election night is like waiting for your grade on a group project. I know I did my part right, but I’m worried the rest of you screwed it up.

[Montanan]

Q: What is the difference between Thanksgiving Day and Election Day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for a day, but on Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.

[Montanan]

You know how they say “nobody can fix the economy, nobody can be trusted with nuclear codes, nobody’s perfect”? That’s why I’m voting for Nobody.

[Montanan]

Did you hear Starbucks is offering a specialty drink just for Election Day? It’s called the “fullacrapuccino.”

[Montanan]

The only accurate statistic on Election Day: 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their dang minds.

Well that is a first as to messaging for my posts:

"This forum requires that you wait 30 seconds between posts. Please try again in 9 seconds."

[Montanan]

Congressman should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors.



"Because it would be hilarious," is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.


Nota bene:
People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

[Montanan]

If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?



The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.



The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!


Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

[Montanan]

Meanwhile across the pond:

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. "Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink." The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."