Your Better Half . . . In or Out ?

[Sailor Amy]

Originally Posted by zeehag

my problem has always been trying to find a guy who wants to give up the other american dream--the damn house on land and all the cars and thingies that hook folks to land---LOL---is why my better half is the kat lol-----so i found a friend who likes to sail----we see what happens--so far, we have sailed thru lightning storms---now lets see about hurrycames....LOL--if he measures up, maybe............

If it doesn't work out....make your cat your first mate and take to the high seas...you'll never know who you'll come across!!

[Stillraining]

Lots of new members lately ...I think I have welcomed 15 to 20 lately....so I'd thought Id dust off this thread.

Here's another picture of my better half...She is getting more "IN" all the time..The whole crew is getting antsy for the boat to be completed and in the water once more.

[Irwin325]

I'll take a "better half" like that also!!

So any Texas Ladies?? 20-40

[scook1]

She is in! for now anyway. She comes from Kansas and has had little experience on the water. But I filled her head with visions of Caribbean seas and feeling the trade winds dance across sun browned shoulders. I might have glossed over anchor dragging and foul weather, but I am pretty certain that I mentioned boat maintenance...
Spencer

[s/v Moondancer]

On our first sailing date we went to Bimini; after a long night we were 1/2 mile to the old difficult entrance and a mile from a massive line of thunder squalls...a quick two reefs in the main and 1/4 of a jib...no chance of getting in before the storm and not going to get caught on the lee shore... and we went back to sea into the 45 knots and horizontal rain...on the bad tack into the reef we tacked on depth, no visibility.

"Oh, this is fun" she said as the boat heeled 60+ deg, "never been sailing before with someone that can handle a gale."

5 yrs later, off the Jersey coast, I went to bed and left her to handle the boat alone in a F9 gale...She now is a USCG 50 ton Master, officially the skipper and impresses the hell out of foreign customs official where being Hispanic she is 'Senora Capitaine.'

We are both in for a 10-15 yr circumnavigation and having been in the yard for a month can't wait to get back to sea where both of us are the happiest we have ever been.

We both agree that the USCG Capt's course was the best thing she ever did; it increased her confidence 10 fold and that is the key...you both need to be competent for it to work.

[Alaska JD]

IN - All the way in.

She is the one who arranged our initial training in the BVI. Got her first taste of sailing on the "Arctic Lady" as it left Alaska on its voyage to Lebenon to live with James S. She's the best partner I could ever want - lucky guy I am

[James S]

Cool...I did'nt know that was her first time.

[Reluctantsailor]

I am trying to be in....we took sailing lessons and now are taking a boating/navigation course, I am signed up for the VHF course and we have two sailboats a 22 Tanzer we sail here in the summer and a 28.5 Hunter we are going to use for winter cruising in warmer climate. We plan to sail the Hunter down the East Coast to Chesapeake then eventually down the ICW over the next few winters (we are in no rush). It is my husband's dream to sail and I believe everyone should get to live their dreams. I have always lived mine and it is not fair to deny him his but I am a nervous sailor, terrified of hitting bad weather or of him going overboard and me not being able to get him back on board. We have bought all kinds of safety equipment and practiced man overboard a hundred times to help me feel better. He promises we will never head out if the weather looks bad (that is the great thing about having no schedule or specific timeline). I am getting more confident and I desperately want to be IN to sailing because I know it is so important to him. I just keep hoping that ones we are underway and living on board for months at a time I will get into the spirit of things...that is possible right? One question... when we are out for the day here in the Atlantic sometimes I find it really really boring even when I am the one on the tiller... any suggestions on how to conquer that?

[Stillraining]

Wow...your a keeper... such a selfless giving person and your husband is very lucky!....All I can say is Sailing is supposed to be both exhilarating and relaxing...so in those boring times just relax more...unwind and enjoy it for what it is a break from our daily rat race of a hurried life...savor the wine..Read a book you can look up every 5 min to survey your surroundings..I use those times to talk to my maker and give thanks for all he has provided in my live which I tend to cheat him on communicating that at other times in my busy life.
Lots of things to let go of and slowing down is part of the challenge for some people and what some can never transition into to allow for a cruising live aboard lifestyle so you are not alone..just keep trying to clear your mind of all things land and find joy in the simplest of things wind and wave, bird and cloud.

Dang ..I'm starting to sound like Reid Stowe I better stop..

[Alaska JD]

Ya - what he said - every word of it. Your husband is a lucky man indeed. With the approach you are taking, however things turn out will be a wonderful success. Remember it's the relationships that count. I hope that someday we run across you guys in some quiet anchorage somwhere. It would be our pleasure.

[Hampus]

She's in, kind of. She likes the life and the travelling. She also likes sailing, but not the way I do. She's OK with 2-3 days at sea but not more. She was like a fish in the water during our two month cruise this summer but the longest time spent at sea was only 22 hrs and we spent lots of time in marinas.

We are, however selling pretty much everything we own and we'll set off for 1-2 yrs, starting May - June 2010. She wants the travelling but she would have been happy with a backpack. She sais I'm like a snail who wants his house with him 24/7 and is miserable without... She takes great interest in learning about sailing and boat realted stuff and she sounds like a real salt while chatting away with people on the dock.

Her bigggest concern is her bad back, which she severly injured in a car accident in her teens. It gives her constant pain and having to balance waves 24/7 is no good. She's tough though.

Picture taken by my brother. Don't tell her I posted ithere, or I'll be wrapped in 300 ft of chain and put to rest somewhere remote...

EDIT: The hairy guy to the left on the picture is me.

[DRS]

Looks like she's in. Needs to believe she is more capable than she thinks she is. Confidence takes some time

[capcook]

Originally Posted by Hampus

She wants the travelling but she would have been happy with a backpack. She sais I'm like a snail who wants his house with him 24/7 and is miserable without...
.

I can really relate to this, though we are not as far along as you guys... My other half loves to travel but I have told her $10k/wk vacations are out of the question when I retire soon, and going by boat is a sensible way to travel when you have more time than money... She tells me we should just Back Pack as you mention, I think she remembers her youth when she did just that all over Europe. I try to explain what that kind of life would really feel like, camping out every night with no showers? Staying in bed bug infested youth hostles? Only taking what you can carry? To add to the complexity we will have a 10yo Boy and 13 yo Girl with us and Back Packing is no life for them. I really have tried to come up with alternatives like motor homes and house swapping but besides having your "home" with you where ever you travel, there is the Crusing Community which I believe we will really enjoy interacting with and being a part of (at least I will).

So we will see, right now she doesn't want to talk about the boat but is willing to go on some boating vacations. We are getting to the short rows and if my course goes well this month, I am thinking of chartering a ORANA 44 on Chesapeake next summer, might take a Capitan along just to be sure everyting goes REALLY well.. figure a lot of short hops and stays in nice little town marinas with a couple nights on the hook might get her onboard... if not, than I will have to reassess the options... maybe I sail and she flys in and meets up at various locations (but not sure how long that would work)... we will have to see... I am just very envious of the guys who have other halves that share their dream and ambitions in this regard... they are indeed a lucky bunch...

Cheers

[elf]

I am "in", finally. It's been awhile coming. We took our first sailing class in Dec. 2004 and are still learning. We bought our boat (our first boat) in late 2007 and have not been able to go sailing as much as would be ideal since we live over 3 hours from the marina, but we have learned a lot. We did a 9-day cruise in the Pamlico this fall. Cruising is my husband's dream, but like Reluctantsailor above, I am determined to give it a go along with him, since I agree with her that everyone deserves to try to live their dream. I enjoy most of it, but I am a more anxious/worried person than he is so worry about all kinds of things -- docking, weather, collisions, him going overboard, our dog, dragging anchor, and the list goes on. A fair percentage of the time on the boat (except when we're at the dock!) my heart is beating fast, and I'm nervous. I'm not crazy about a lot of wind, waves, or heeling. But I am willing to give full-time cruising a try and will give it my best shot! Mostly, I think I just need more experience in order to gain confidence. My DH has no more experience than I do (neither of us were raised around boats), but he's got a lot more confidence!

[unbusted67]

in
God love her.