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larryb · 31-12-2009, 16:52

I am happy and sooo encouraged to find so many women into the sailing and cruising world. Un fortunately my better half is out. When we met 15 years ago I lived on a 30' Tartan. We lived together for nearly seven years preparing our selves and boat and cruising Kitty for a cruise. Before we cast off and got rid of all of our worldly belongings, I said, "be sure now, because there may be no turning back". Cruised the west coast of US and Mex for year and a half during y2k. Decided we needed larger boat.

Returned to the grind.

Decided to give it until 2010.

Bought and sold two properties and currently live in nice home in dessert with even more equity. Not rich enough to retire for ever, but have enough to buy nice boat and rent home, with that we would need to work very little and cruise very much.
Alas, at 40 yrs old, she is nesting and has stated more than once and most definitely that she is not returning to the sea or sailing, not ever, not a chance. If I go, I go without her!! It has become a bone of contention between us. We have decided to split, I am returning to the sea and sailing life, she keeping house. I can't just give up the dream, she can't live with keeping me from it. Two wonderful people with differeing opinions of the 'good life' who's lives will be happier and more rewarding seperatly.
Now, bring me that horizon

Stillraining · 31-12-2009, 17:05

Sad story Larry...

People do change that is the risk of any relationship...I wish you both all the happiness in the world.

bobfnbw · 31-12-2009, 17:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by larryb

I am happy and sooo encouraged to find so many women into the sailing and cruising world. Un fortunately my better half is out. When we met 15 years ago I lived on a 30' Tartan. We lived together for nearly seven years preparing our selves and boat and cruising Kitty for a cruise. Before we cast off and got rid of all of our worldly belongings, I said, "be sure now, because there may be no turning back". Cruised the west coast of US and Mex for year and a half during y2k. Decided we needed larger boat.

Returned to the grind.

Decided to give it until 2010.

Bought and sold two properties and currently live in nice home in dessert with even more equity. Not rich enough to retire for ever, but have enough to buy nice boat and rent home, with that we would need to work very little and cruise very much.
Alas, at 40 yrs old, she is nesting and has stated more than once and most definitely that she is not returning to the sea or sailing, not ever, not a chance. If I go, I go without her!! It has become a bone of contention between us. We have decided to split, I am returning to the sea and sailing life, she keeping house. I can't just give up the dream, she can't live with keeping me from it. Two wonderful people with differeing opinions of the 'good life' who's lives will be happier and more rewarding seperatly.
Now, bring me that horizon

Bought Beth A Leonards voyagers handbook from some amazon gift cards I got for christmas... the fist chapter delves into relationships more than I can handle almost... I know she is right on the money on this, but to me the other stuff is more important like where is the inverter go and what size wire do we need to replace the backstay... lol. Typical male.
So I guess for any male contimplating cruisiing with a female, I suggest you pick up a copy of Beths book, here.. Amazon.com: The Voyager's Handbook: The Essential Guide to Blue Water Cruising (9780071437653): Beth Leonard: Books
and read it. Might tell you if you will be a singlehandler or not.... lol.

I don't really want to read it because (but I am) the truth is we are as different as night and day sometimes. And also, crusing and living aboard is my dream not her's. She said she is in... but you never know. Even after you start, a lot of cruises have ended in disaster when the other half jumped ship. So pay attention to the relationship stuff, and work on it, (note to self here) and maybe, just maybe it will work out. If not I will join the ranks of singlehandlers. Maybe time to rethink the one autopilot deal....

Happy New years!

Bob

**Hudson Force** · 31-12-2009, 19:24

Nancie's IN! When we met in 1969, she knew I was planning to live aboard and cruise. She bought the whole package when we married in 1970. We bought our first "Liveaboard" in 1971. The last of our two children moved off our third boat in 1998. We're retired fulltime cruisers, spending most of our time between Maine and the Bahamas.

Next year we'll complete 40 years aboard,-yeah, she's in, Aythya crew

Stillraining · 31-12-2009, 19:51

That's got to be close to some sort of world record Cap....Well Done!

Stillraining · 16-10-2010, 14:46

Time to bump this thread as there have been a lot of new members that we barley know and you barley know us.

This is a great Feel good thread...so please feel free to add to it with your story and your PICTURE....After all we are a family here...most of us come here here to connect in a social environment built around the Sea and around our boats or at least the desire of the two...but definitely for more then just information...Some of my Dearest friends have come from this Forum.

So don't be shy ..post up! and enjoy all the past posts and stories...they are many.

Also its sad to see posted pictures disappear like CaptForce's did so try and load them off your computer instead of a hosting website.

zeehag · 16-10-2010, 14:58

my "better half" best be coming with--is my boat ..LOL...

MarkJ · 16-10-2010, 15:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillraining

This is a great Feel good thread... .

Thanks

LOL

IdoraKeeper · 16-10-2010, 16:55

My better half has a real affection for travel. She has only had limited exposure to cruising. We had a wonderful 8 days in row on the boat this summer and she apparently enjoyed it alot. She seemed really engaged during the few hours of really rough water that we encountered. I think an expansion of our cruising waters in stages will allow her to expand what level of interest she has. I am not sure at this stage how far it will go. It's entirely up to her.

I tend to go whole hog on things (she says "like killing snakes"). Luckily there seems to be plenty to do in the cruising vein before it might be deemed over the top. So far so good.

One thing, she likes company and is competitive. I think she might like cruising with a group. You know, anytime sail boats sail together it's a race. Just musing.

My pix are in the wrong format and I am on the road with a weak internet connection. I will work on it and put some up.

Todd

zopi · 16-10-2010, 17:05

I have probably posted most of this elsewhere..but..

She is in..far deeper than I ever thought possible...when I was a young squid, my plan was to buy a boat, live in the marina and commute across the base to the ship..then I contracted a bad case of wife and rugratz..and she hated sailing! in 20 years I really didn't get to sail at all..just gave it up for her..but she has always wanted to travel..especially watching me roam all over the world with unca spams kanoe klub..(sitting in the sailors center on mayport base writing this..) told me again that she wanted to travel..but I doubted we'd ever have the money to...but I took her to the marina to ask about sailing lessons for our kids while we were doing my transition assistance class for retirement..and asked the guy to show her one of the big rental boats..figured i'd get a weekend out of it at least..so she liked the boat..(claustrophobic..surprised again) and aked what it cost to rent (900 bucks a weekend?!? bugger that) Anyway..we got about halfway home and she asked me where one could go on such a boat (Catalina 323) "Anywhere in the world!"
couple days later she told me to start looking for a boat..which took less than a day or so..we found "Her Idea" on craigslist..first boat we looked at. (the second was a tiny little tartan 27..strategic placement..I wanted the Tanzer, so showed her a skinny little wet sailer..<G>)
FFWD to the first trip out after I patched up the worst of the PO BS..holes in the transom, blah blah etc..I wanted to get her out on the water to find out if she could hack it..engine or no..we dropped the kids with friends for the day, grabbed onto our 20 something friend, who also had never sailed..and scooted her out of the marina..despite me being rusty and not familiar with the boat and a few other obstacles (yes dummy..you doo have to take in the topping lift..took a minute to figure out why the main looked stupid..) We scooted up the James river a couple miles from the James River bridge and dropped the lunch hook for a meal and some relaxation, and was promptly becalmed for several hours...during which time the admiral retired to her berth for a nap, and myself and the XO took advantage and went swim call...Both of them took to sailing like ducks to..well, you know. The Admiral is pushing me to sail up the potomac next summer and spend some time in DC while my leave runs out my last hitch in the Navy..I'm thinking more eastern shore cruise..but that's just because DC is a big noisy nasty city, and I have had enough..young 20something will be on her first overseas deployment then..so Adm of the Ocean Sea will likely get what she wants..will have to be a bigger boat though..not much bigger, but bigger..heavier..

She is working the logistics of jumping off in the next ten or twelve years when the rugratz are all gone...

Stillraining · 16-10-2010, 18:14

Great posts guys...Cant wait for the pictures...........Remember around here its Pictures or it didn't happen ..

.....Just kidding...........................sort of..

Come on Zeehag...we've heard the story's for years...lets see that sexy wench of a boat of yours....and your smiling better half's mug..

rebel heart · 16-10-2010, 18:36

In. When we first met, I told her that I was between boats and that I wanted to take the next one on a circumnavigation. However, having my wife (and now three month old daughter) living on board for over three years and doing coastal cruising during that time has made my original dream so much better and now it's "our" dream.

Being on the water has been a great thing for our family; so much more than I ever thought it would be. My wife in particular has done just as much if not more to keep me on track for the plan than I have.

Picture from a couple of weeks ago. Daughter is tucked in the blankets there:

RiverRat · 16-10-2010, 18:45

Hmmm.... Am I the 'better half' or is he? He's the one that started it, but I'm the one that's become obsessed with it.

Over the summer my husband said 'you know what I want to do after I retire? I want to take a boat down the ICW' huh, I thought. How do you do that? What kind of boat do you need? So, I found the Cruiser's Forum and now I'M the one that's hooked.

Every few days I tell him about Avoiding Somali Pirates or the differences between monos and multis or how one couple provisioned their boat a certain way because they were never more than 20 days from land or some other thread I've read and I watch his eyes glaze over!! LOL

Or he gets this look that says 'THAT is NOT what I had in mind!'

Too late now...

We still have 7+ years to figure it out as we love our current life and he loves his job and we have a viable substitute to full time cruising. See photo of our waterfront. As per Stillraining's request I've posted a few photos of us. One is at Mike's Waterfront Restaurant on the South River in the Annapolis area and another of us after we'd 'cleaned up' so to speak. You've seen our bird Vinny in my avatar. If he's still with us when we get ready to go I'll start a thread 'Cruising with a pet bird' and see how it goes...