Hello from a Middle-Aged Dreamer

[SV.Maverick]

Welcome! Now to the pie in the sky this part is easy. In the next few weeks buy a sailboat. On a 10 year plan it would not have to be a big or even that nice of boat. Clean it up and then tell her to pack a bathing suit and take her out sailing the next weekend. When she is sitting on the boat for the first time she might loose "the pie in the sky" thought. It may take her a while to warm up to the idea, but you can always set a date 10 years down the road for a departure date and just say something like I'm leaving on this date, hope you'll come too if not I'll send a postcard!

[Lowcountry]

“You have to choose between your life and a woman. And it’s got to be your life, doesn’t it?” Bernard Moitessier

I'll never surrender my free-will to a woman again. I wish you luck, and I'm sorry to see that you're in the position of having to choose between a woman or following your dreams. The choice for me would be a simple one.

[S/VSkylark]

Originally Posted by Lowcountry

“You have to choose between your life and a woman. And it’s got to be your life, doesn’t it?” Bernard Moitessier

I'll never surrender my free-will to a woman again. I wish you luck, and I'm sorry to see that you're in the position of having to choose between a woman or following your dreams. The choice for me would be a simple one.

Aahhhh, if only it were that easy...

[Lowcountry]

It is as easy or as difficult as you make it.

[Moonspray]

Some great responses from all sides and that's really what i like see'ing. Thanks for making me feel welcome, and i am going to start my baby steps - soon.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Lowcountry

It is as easy or as difficult as you make it.

Or as cheap or expensive as She makes it....

[WoundedWarrior]

I went through basic training with a guy half again your age. 56 y/o and he had the balls to go through it a second time. ( before anyone asks, he was prior service, was able to get enough time in to still be able to retire, that's why he was let back in )

[Boracay]

From my experience what I'm seeing is a big "yes". You didn't expect it to be easy, did you?

Just don't do it the way I did (see blog if curious).

Think of it as a multi step process. Step 1 is to spend inordinate amounts of time on Cruisers Forum, leave a few of the glossier cruising magazines lying round, drive past a few boatyards with a wistful look on your face. That sort of thing.

Step 2 comes when you've just about driven her nuts with study plans and brochures. Sus out a sailing school with top female instructors and on a good day (light winds, warm, sunny) go out for a trial sail. You do nothing, just back off and let the instructors show her how nice it can be.

Then, as they say in the classics, shut up and wait. Could take months...

[SkiprJohn]

All I can say is good luck with that and welcome aboard!
I'd start with basic sailing lessons for you both (as was suggested) and see if you can get the wife interested in sailing just a little bit.
Work from there. Absolutely do not buy a boat without her agreeing. She'll resent every second you are close to the boat.
kind regards,

[vanishing point]

hello all.. just wanted to say hi and get myself acquainted with the group here. i'm the buddy that moonspray was speaking of. i have a lil trailer sailor and have sailed on the west coast and on occasion haul my lil craft which i purchased from a friend for 500 dollars to pensacola to hit the blue water with moonspray..all men are called to the sea and our hearts long for it and we are drawn to it.. but alas Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented.i am glad it's a 10 year plan i think it will take that long for the drug industry to make a
motion sickness med good enough to get my wife aboard..

[Moonspray]

Or we will need 10 years for them to get so tired of hearing about our version of "retirement" or as i like to think of it as a "rebirth" that they will push our boat off themselves ( just to be getting rid of us)

[WoundedWarrior]

hmmm. 10 years and she qualifies for half your retirement if she doesn't want to go with you

[BlueWaterSail]

I would separate your re-birth objectives into two areas - going sailing, and becoming a sailing nomad. The first you can realize immediately, make it your hobby. Adding the second involves major changes in your life that are neither easy or without consequences, some of which you may later regret dearly.

I am where you might wish you were - divorced because I decided to follow my sailing passion, owner of a sailboat large enough to take me anywhere, I can leave anytime ... but I won't, because I'm not willing to compromise my responsibilities as far as my son is concerned.

So in the end the wife, or ex as she is now, wasn't the deciding factor after all. You need to look within.

BWS

[vanishing point]

Words from the wise, never to be overlooked. My intention would not be to leave my wife (who i hold dear to my heart) but rather to find a way get her onboard for the experience.(She looks incredible in a bikini) that however is proving to be a difficult proposition. I'm thinking default on the mortagage once i get a big enough boat, then she wont have a choice! lol. jk.

[chumbucket]

Moonspray and Vanishin Point-
I am in a similar situation and just got through reading "Changing Course: A Women's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Life" by Debra Ann Cantrell. I highly recommend it for ya'll and your wives. I bought the book for my wife but ended up reading it first. Very good book that talks about the psychology of it all, in a positive manner. I'm hopeful the book will help sway her! Good Luck!