New guy, same story

[CSY Man]

RoeLaren.

Yes, unfortunatley, most women are like that, but there are a few exceptions out there.

As for NEVER getting it...?
Well, I get it loud and clear, that is why I am still on land working a day job so the woman can have her house and feet on dry land all the time.

"Do you guys ONLY think of yourselves?" (Your Words)

Well, if I only think of myself, I would be out sailing full-time, divorced and the lady would live in a cheap apartement working forty hours a week to pay her bills..

Perhaps you are not getting it...

[GordMay]

RoeLaren:
Feet on solid ground?
That's what the dinghy's for; to get ashore, and take that break you asked for, and maybe get a cold beer for a self-centred man.

Welcome to the forum ... we're really a nicer bunch than some [maybe my standards are too low, but I'm seldom disappointed ]

Regards,
Shore-bound, cause I can't bear to be separated from my bride ...
Gord

[Stede]

Gord and CSY,

Thanks for your kind comments.They are appreciated,but my reasoning for posting my circumstances wasn't to gain sympathy.I was just trying to point out to sailors out there how quickly life can change.We shouldn't wait until the last stages of our lives to do the things that make us happy.Since my wife was diagnosed with cancer,she and I have known several people our ages (mid-forties) that have died even though they appeared to be perfectly healthy.Some of them were close friends of my wife and were very concerned for her future,yet they're gone and my wife is still here.Go figure! We are all capable of getting run over by the proverbial beer-truck.While my wife was healthy,we did several charter boat trips,even though we really couldn't afford it.I always told her that I would rather spend while I was young,and live on good memories when I was old.Those trips which included Greece,and many parts of the Caribbean have been the highlights of our lives.I can honestly say that if I end up having to work in my "Golden years" as a greater at Wal-Mart becuase of taking those trips, that I'm o.k.with that.I'll be the little old man handing you a cart with a smile.In my mind,I'll still be sailing the Cyclades of Greece.I think sometimes we all get so bogged down with building our future security,that we forget that none of us our promised tomorrow.I wonder if Joshua Slocum was living in our society today if he would say,"Well, I really want to sail around the world, but I guess I had better hold off until my retirement pension is in tack." Am I saying that you should chuck it all and go cruising? Well, yes and no.What I'm saying is do the things that make you happy today,and let tomorrow take care of itself.As far as my situation, yes there will be a happy ending.I don't know how much longer I have with my wife, or how long she has with me.I do know though that if we don't get to sail anymore together in this life, that we'll sail together in the next one.

[kokopelli]

Okay, so I thought I could keep out of this discussion until Roe Lauren jumped in...now I've got to open my mouth and hopefully not insert my foot.

I am one of those women who would love to be a liveaboard and do coastal cruiser (or whatever else comes my way) for as long as I am able. I am 50 years old and am fully aware that if I'm gonna do it I better not wait much longer.

While I am sentimental about some belongings, I don't have a great need to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. And I quite frankly think that most men have done an awful lot of taking women's feeling into consideration over the years while we have changed our minds over whether we want doors opened for us, whether we want to work or stay at home, while we put our children first and so on and so on. Mind you I believe that while some men may be physically stonger than me, we are all equal and have wonderful talents and gifts to share.

So why am I not out there cruising already? Two reasons...finances and it is really not an experience that i want to do alone...I would love to share it with a special man in my life...but all of the sailing men are at home wishing their wives would sail!

Good luck, Stede...I saw on another BB that you backed out of buying a boat...here's hoping another will come along soon...just right.
And as for RoeLauren, why are you here? I read in your profile that you are a land lover...are you also lost? If so this is not the place for bashing IMHO!

[CSY Man]

My hat off to you Mr. Stede, ya are doing the right thing and I am in comlete agreement with your thinking...

Ms. Kopopelli:

Well, yes a lot of the sailor men are home mowing the lawn 'cause the wifes says so,,,,

There is however quite a few single guys looking for the Right Mate to go cruising with.
Check out the SSCA bulletin, it seems that somebody is looking every month in there.

As for RoeLaren, it may be a wind-up, nobody can be so dense that they go into a cruising forum as "land lovers" and tell folks what to think and do.....Or maybe they can...?..

[Stede]

CSY Man,

While cutting my grass, I gave some more thought to your idea of getting a buddy to convert over to a woman. I have to admit, there is some merit to it.I even starting thinking about which one of my buddies would be the best candidate. This one guy I know has always seemed kind of like a "girly-man." He's always telling me I'm gross for burping out loud,expelling gas,etc. You know,typical guy stuff. He probably wouldn't make the best looking gal, but it would probably be tolerable if he-she didn't become a whiner.Anyway, I ran into a stumbling block. I imagine to go through the procedure,the docs would give him some kind of hormone injections. I got to wondering, since he's already kind of feminine, what would happen if he was over-dosed on the stuff?Would he-she become more inclined to like women? Would I have to get hormone shots to become more feminine so that she would still find me attractive? Obviously more research is needed, but I think you might be on to something.

[Stede]

kokopelli,

Thanks for the comments on my quest for another boat. I really wasn't looking to buy another boat right now,but kind of always thought if something real good came along,I would keep my options open.As I was returning to a marina in Key West last May on my 26 footer,I noticed this older boat on the hard.The sun was hitting her just right and I couldn't help but to notice her beautiful lines.It was kind of like when a guy sees a beautiful woman in the Spring time wearing a sundress.When the sun hits her just right,the silouette of her form shows through and her radiance is captivating.Anyway, the boat was a C&C 33.I asked a few in the yard about her,but no one knew anything. I left the marina and had pretty well forgotten about her until I saw a C&C 33 posted on Yachtworld located in Key West.Seeing the pictures of her cabin,and layout,it struck me that the boat would be ideal for what I wanted. A fast, coastal cruiser capable of making trips down to the Caribbean. So, I contacted the broker only to find out the boat was under contract even though it wasn't listed as such on Yachtworld. I was really disappointed because the boat just seemed like it was meant for me.I then started searching for other C&C 33's. I found one that was more of a project boat, but at a very good price. Having a kind of superstitous nature,(sailors curse I guess) it finally dawned on me that it just didn't feel right.I was trying to make it happen, rather than just letting it happen. I decided to back out of the deal.To me, a boat is like love.If you are really trying to find it,you seldom will.If you're patient and let it find you,it always will. Fair winds to you!

[kokopelli]

Csy man...

Now I know I've been doing it wrong all these years...I have always been the one that mowed the lawn!

Thanks for your encouragement though....I don't know what the SSCA boards are and quite frankly have steered clear of the guys actively searching for a sailing mate.

I will find my sailor when the time is right..and in the meantime I am simply enjoying the heck out of life, learning a lot, sailing as much as I can and anticipating beautiful things ahead for me.

Kokopelli

[CSY Man]

Okay Stede, uh good luck with yer buddy that is already a bit feminine and if he complains NOW about ya passing gas, wait 'till he has become a real woman......He/she will become a real pain in the butt.....
Nah, perhaps it is just better to find a really young woman, then train her right.....

(Relax girls, that was a joke.... )

Kokopelli:

Aha, so you have always been cutting the grass..?
Hmm, are ya good at cooking and cleaning as well as boat maintenance and fetching cold beers?

If so, I suspect ya will have single sailors lined up from yer door and around the corner.

(Hey, no offence, I do the cooking in the house and on the boat as well. Cooking is a bit of a hobby, wifey brags to her girl friends that hubby cooks gourmet meals.)

As for SSCA. It is the Seven Seas Cruising Association.
They send out a bulletin every month and also have a web page.
And a big library here in Ft. Lauderdale.
Forgot the web address, but just type in SSCA in Google.com


Good luck on finding that sailor. They are out there.

[GordMay]

Wow!
This thread generated more fireworks than firearms aboard.
Gord

[CSY Man]

As should be, this forum was a bit slow....

[delmarrey]

As for this man/woman thing. There are men and woman alike that can't deal with boats or the lifestyle. I lost the first wife and maybe the second because of my obsession with boats and the sea. The third was turning sour with our 23'. so I bought a 40' and now things are better. It's not just the feet on the ground thing but also the comfort and security things too. I've invited several guys out on the boats and some were just as *%$#&@ as any woman that had been aboard.

RoeLaren, You say you like to cook. There was a boat you might like that was out here durning the 4th of July that would cruise around between all the other boats on the hook, selling dogs and the likes. It was mostly kitchen and cupboards. And it never got very far from land. Oh, and one more thing. If men only think of themselves! Why is it that women spend sooo much time in front of a mirror? If that's not self indulgence...................

Stede, I once had a bumper sticker that read "I spent most of my fortune on fast woman and pretty boats (Or was it the other way around) Anyway, the rest I just wasted."
And there is a quote that I have favored for years but can't seem to follow. Much like you were saying earlier about the C&C you had an eye on. It needs to come around the right way rather than on a blood trail.

"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"

_- Mark Twain
Best to ya all!!!!

[Stede]

delmarrey,

I like your style. You sound like a man that has "been there,done that." On the boat thing, I was wondering if you could answer me a question. As I said, I wasn't really looking to buy, but figured if something came along, I would keep my options open.I've got a problem though.I keep debating about what I'm going to do with my 26 footer when that happens.I love this boat.She's taken me from Florida to the Bahamas,Dry Tortugas,and many other great trips gunk-holing some of the shallow coastal areas.For the Florida Keys, she's perfect.She has a shoal draft fixed keel and only draws 3'2". She's not a race boat,but she isn't a slug either.Anyway,I was wondering since you said you upgraded from a 23 footer to a 40, if you have any regrets? I guess my problem is that I want the best of everything.I thought I might keep my 26 footer for coastal stuff (island hopping through the Keys,etc.),and get a bigger boat that is blue water capable to eventually go around the world on.If I don't get that far, that will be o.k.,but I want to at least go down into the Caribbean on a bigger boat.My 26 footer just doesn't have the storage for long term cruising.Man, I know this sounds silly,but I don't know if I can part with the boat I have now. I feel like I would be betraying her. Is there therapy for this type of thing?

[GordMay]

STEDE:
Often, the bigger boats don't get out (for shorter day-sails etc) as often as the smaller ones do.
Hence, it becomes mostly a matter of cost ($, time, space, etc). Can you afford two different boats, for two different purposes?
As to "keeping your options open" - options are a good thing!
Regards,
Gord

[Stede]

Hi Gord,

I know what you mean about the smaller boats getting out more often.Last May I trailered my boat (another thing I like about her) down to Key West from NC.While I was getting her ready to launch, I met a couple that live aboard a big ass 50 footer.They had lived in Key West for several years.When I told them I was getting ready to take my boat over to the Dry Tortugas,they said that they were planning on doing that some day. I thought man, here I am trailering a 26 footer 800 miles to make this trip,and they live here on a 50 footer and they've never been to the Tortugas? On that size boat the 62 miles to the Tortugas should be a weekend trip for them. Go figure!! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll eventually buy a bigger boat,but I hope I don't ever get in that rut. As far as my 26 footer, I probably will keep her.When I leave to cruise full time, I'll probably use her the first few years to do some more gunk-holing down in the Keys,and the Abacos.After that, I would like to trailer her over to the West Coast and do the same thing there.Then I'll bring her back to NC,and store her at my brothers house.I'll find a bigger boat to purchase somewhere on the East coast and head over to Bermuda,and then down to the Caribbean.From there who knows.I'm kind of thinking it will be good for me to keep the 26 footer because by the time I get back,I'll be getting up in the years.I'll be able to fall back to my "Favorite Sport", and keep on sailing.But as you said,keeping your options open is a good thing!