New guy, same story

[Mplscupl]

We are new to this forum, Cheryl & Bill. We are both new to sailing, this is our first year. The dream, eventually purchasing the cruising/liveabord boat, spending an indefinite number of years sailing and scuba diving all over the world. I (Cheryl), the female half of the couple, can't wait to get started. I am 52 years old, have had enough of "nesting", tired of the cold Minnesota winters and love to experience new places and people.

Come on guys, don't stereotype all females into one category.

Cheryl

[CSY Man]

Hello Cheryl and welcome aboard.

No stereotyping of females around here..

In fact we all admit that ladies come in many flavors, and uh shapes and forms.

The nesting ones are the problem types for those of us who would like to bail out of the nest, move aboard and sail into the sunset, but because we are good husbands and loyal partners, we live in darn houses, go to work every day to pay the bills that the household generates.

Any solutions out there.....?

(I tried to do a deal like this: Honey, now that we have lived in houses for 10 years, why don't we live on the boat for the next 10 years, then back in the house for 10 years, etc. That way we both get to do what we want....
The question was answered with the typical NO and some more whining about not ever wanting to live on a boat and stop talking about it... )

[Stede]

Welcome aboard Cheryl and Bill,

It's always good to hear of someone else sharing the dream.We are sailors,and we are strong! I've been sailing for about 20 years,and I enjoy it each time out,as much as I did the first time. Well, maybe not the first time. It seems I remember spending a lot of time along the lake banks beating back brush due to my lack of knowledge.Since that time,I've learned a lot and sailed in a lot of different waters.The great thing about sailing is that it's a lifetime sport/lifestyle.There's so many experiences and adventure to be had as we cruise Mother Earths waters. Of course,it's always great to have someone to share the experiences with. If we're fortunate enough to have a partner to share it all with,it makes the trip all the sweeter. If not, then we just have to add some nutra-sweet through compromises with our mate. Either way,we still must sail just as we must breath. Fair winds to you!

[rakuqueen]

Hi Cheryl and Bill,

We bought our boat last Jan. and will be live aboards Sept. 15. My husband will retire at the end of Dec. He will be 57 and ready to try something new, so will I.
This weekend has been very hard, what with packing and sorting, etc. We will be moving Jim's things on board tomorrow. He'll take our oldest to college and I'll finish up here and get ready for the movers on the 13.
Right now, we really don't know where everything is, on the boat, in a box, in a cabinet.
I hope you stay focused on your dream, it's a long process to get where you want to be, but well worth it.
Good luck, and enjoy the hunt for the "perfect" boat.
Jane

[CaptJason]

Hey I'm not thinking of just me she has to eat too, And since I need a cook aboard it seems to be a match made in heaven.

[29cascadefixer]

Ahhh,the Dream. If I bore ya, throw me another Amber Bock and tryin' to get the top off will shut me up! The dream started for me when I was sixteen. Brother-in-law and I stuck a paint dropcloth on a chunk of stairway railing pole, ran some ropes from the top of the pole down to the oarlocks, stern grommets and bow roller on a flatbottom aluminum fishing boat. Shoved off, caught the wind and went as far sideways as forward because we had no keel.
That was one of the most discovering days of my life. The wonder and joy of it. Still remember-Gad-the sun was warm with white clouds-the sound of the water as it went by the hull , the wind force heeling the boat- and the smiling raucaus laughter of my Brother - in - law and I as the sail joined water, wind, boat, and man in an entity that must be --must be, what? Complete. Yes, thats it, complete.
Sorry if that last paragraph sounds dorky, but thats the only way to describe the impact of SAILING on me. I experienced something that I knew was a goal- to have a sailboat of my own and be complete again. In the ensuing 44 years, I got a Butterfly and once again experienced the joy of completeness when that little sucker would plane on a broad reach and she would hum her rudder at me . Man, that was somethin'.
So. 12 years ago I bought a 29 Cascade. Needed a lot more work than I was led to believe. I've been working on it ever since. But, with some luck, it looks like she'll kiss the waves next year. Through removing dry rot, fiberglassing, wiring, painting, rebuilding, remodeling, and sundry other activities, the Wife has been there.
She is somewhat apprehensive about the sailing process. But, I think that she understands sailing draws me . She supports me because I want to do this. She may not go with me to all places Iwill go on the boat, but she now is as much a part of this as the wind, water, and boat. My priorities have shifted some through the years. The Southern Islands' sundrenched sands will maybe NOT feel my feet. But, I didn't really get hooked on the destinations I realized a few years ago. I am mainly interested in the joy that comes from having a joining of Natures' water and wind, and Mans boat and effort. I love the actual , basic, wonderful joy of feeling a craft move through the water. It may be only a daysail of a circular route, but travelling with my Sailing buddies- Wind, Water, Boat, Me, and hopefully the Wife, it is all I ask for now. I could be satisfied for a long time with that.

[SailorLiz]

CSY Man, yes I do have a younger sister, but she is not like me. Very much a "nesting" person. She is married with two children. Sorry. <GRIN>
Stede: My heart goes out for you. My mother was diagnosed with colon cancer and passed away 3 months later at the age of 58. Neither her or my father never enjoyed their retirement dreams. When my mom passed away so quickly, that is when I decided I was going to try to enjoy my dream of cruising now vs. later. So I try to live each day as it comes, and vacation cruise when we can. I had a dream of cruising the N. channel and I did that a couple of weeks ago. I told my husband that if something happens to me today or tomorrow, I feel that I have fulfilled a lot of my dreams and thanks for supporting them. Of course I hope to one day live and cruise fulltime, but for now I feel I have accomplished most of my dreams.

[svstrider]

My partner and I bought a 33 ft Crowther cat in 1999, rented the house and I walked out of my general practice with nothing to show for it after 20 yrs. I started a Masters of Trpoical Medicine by distance ed and we went sailing the east cooast of Oz. We bought the boat in CAirns and headed south the 1400 miles to Brisbane into 3 weeeks of winds on the nose never less than 20 kts. Even managed to meet the edges of 2 cyclones. The boat needed a lot of work and the previous owner could not lie straight in bed and I think he paid off the surveyor.

I had not had a boat for 20 years and my partner had never sailed. By the time we made it home - why did we even bother pounding all that way we realised that with more common sense we would never ever undertake a trip like that again.

We never get sea sick. I fix the engines when they misbehave, the wife cooks the fish I catch and paints and fibreglasses when I am away overseas working. We almost never argue. She usually agrees with my decisions but if there is a note of hesitation in her voice, I always have another look at the situation.

We returned to our old house for 6 months this week and then plan to leave again. She says we still have too many possessions and did not want to buy a car.

She just wants to go again.
NO - you can't have her she is mine.

[Troubledour]

Sounds like a pretty different story to me, good for you.

Troubledour

[CSY Man]

Hmm, perfect cruising partner and she is even female..?

Whould you please post a picture...With all the above qualities she just may be ugly..

Aye, no offence, but uh, does she have a younger sister..?

Is so, for a good time, e-mail the CSY Man...

[Thos]

Of course we don't "only think of ourselves"...we think about our boats too!

[Mermaidpnw]

It's true, I too am one of those ladies. Spent the last 10 or so years trying to find a man with a similar dream of either a. moving to the tropics to run a little beachfront B&B, b. sail away to warmer climes and explore the planet, or c. some variation the two for a similar lifestyle. Sadly, I met men who talked the talk but couldn't, or wouldn't walk it, or worse.. folks who were so wrapped up in what 'they' wanted, they didn't ponder 'us'. Now, I'll focus on my life and let 'him' find me.

Change in plan. Next sunday I sea-trial a little sloop I'm pondering buying as phase one of my cunning plan. Phase 2 includes a bigger boat, living aboard, and trying to obtain a transfer to a warmer climate. Phase 3 is yet to be determined and is open to development based on my(our) employment & financial situation, meeting someone who walks the talk and figureing out what WE want to do.

Perhaps you, like me, were looking in the wrong place?

~Mermaidpnw

><((((º>´¯`·.¸¸.><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>´¯`·.¸¸.. ><((((º>

[irwinsailor]

I just wanted to say that my wife bought the boat and she can't wait to get out there. She works very hard fixing it up and right now she has a bunch of interior teak pieces in the living room with fresh varnish drying.

[Sailing Junkie]

Wow, this thread was started in August of last year and is still going.

My post is more apropo to the original posts in August.

I am the exact opposite of you guys.

I am the 45 year old woman whose 54 year old significant other of 10 years refuses to go cruising.

HE´S the nester. HE´S the homebody. And he flat out refuses to even discuss the subject.

We met 9 years ago, believe it or not, sailing. We sailed together (racing) for a few years, and then he decided to give up sailing and take up golf. In trying to talk him into moving aboard and circumnavigating, I´ve incorporated a golf plan. I told him there are golf courses almost everywhere you go in the world. We could tour the world´s most exotic golf courses. And I would establish a special berth for our golf clubs, even keep a shrink wrap system on board to protect them!

Over the last 2 years, I have gone out and done 6 long distance blue water deliveries to see if a) I could cut the mustard and b) I would really like it from a reality standpoint.

Guess what? I am hooked. I am obsessed. I am going.

For those of you considering it, take it from someone whose put in more than a few offshore miles. DO IT, if there is any way possible.

Even after almost losing my life out there and having to be rescued by a Coast Guard Helicopter 160 miles offshore, I still want to go. It is the most awesome existence on this earth.

The only thing better than being 700 miles offshore with nothing but the wind, waves, sun and stars is sailing into a new port after a week or two of being out there. New places and faces to see. Sand and palm trees and marinas and anchorages. Nifty little local pubs with their resident cast of eccentric and esoteric characters. Giving a hand to the guy on the boat next door. Provisioning by taxi cab (or just walking). Fixing whatever broke offshore. There is no better life.

[Amphibian]

CSYMan posted link to CF on an aviators’ forum. He had been going on and on to us about cruising, but I couldn’t quite get the message. (Sure - sailing IS nice, but what’s the big deal about living aboard?) This thread left me dumbfounded. You guys together managed to describe the phenomenon perfectly. GORD has been there, and his posts tell it all. STEDE has a good one on how the light may hit a shore-bound soul: “Kinda like One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.”

Tried to visualize life with no house (security to most, confinement to me), no lawn, no weeds, no bills, no neighbours with noisy kids/dogs, no alarm-clock, no makeup, small wardrobe, few things, the sound of silence, capricious weather, ever-changing environment. (And probably lots more, which a landlubber cannot imagine.) Definitely appealing. At least now I know what I miss.

The female members here prove that the percentage of “nomadic” (i.e. atypical) women must be higher than expected. Mother nature obviously tells us to team up with good homemakers during the procreative age, at which time we don’t realize the importance of shared interests because we’re busy performing the traditional roles approved by society. (SAILING JUNKIE - “nifty little local pubs with their eccentric and esoteric characters” - awww.) Go, ladies, go!

Always dreaded returning home after long stays abroad. Statement by former spouse of a stewardess: ”Your idea of home is a place to occasionally wash your clothes and repack your suitcase.” (Told him to find a better-suited housewife.) Present hubby couldn’t sail if he wanted to, so it must remain my favourite daydream. If Dame Fortune were to dispatch a prize in my direction, I’d be in big trouble.

Thank ya all for sharing experiences and thoughts/dreams. And thanks to cruisers for taking the time/effort to give others a glimpse of paradise.

Greetings from "the Land of the Midnight Sun".