Admirals

[hummingway]

Wow, now there's a job I want. How do you go about getting it? At what age does the term boy no longer apply?

[flysci]

Originally Posted by hummingway

Wow, now there's a job I want. How do you go about getting it? At what age does the term boy no longer apply?

"Boy" is more an attitude than an age! LOL

[mintyspilot]

Originally Posted by flysci

And boats or not, women continue to live with all the day to day slights, if not slings and arrows, at least needles and pinches, that are thoughtlessly tossed around.

It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Bash

enjoyed the article, Livia.

I've long maintained that the term "Captain" is archaic when applied to a cruising yacht co-owned by a cruising couple. The sooner we get rid of the captain concept, the less we'll talk of "The Admiral."

"Galley Wench," on the other hand, carries a certain historical resonance. Would hate to see that one deconstructed.

I also enjoyed your article Livia and did not realize until I read it, how much the term has become popular with cruising couples as a pink connotation with ovaries.

Perhaps the historical precedent was Admiral Horatio Nelson, when he proffered on his deathbed…. ‘Kiss me Hardy”...

I do disagree with Bash on the term captain for practical and legal reasons, but that has probably more to do with my professional licensing than ego.


Wench however is a term I love to use as a private endearment….. even used it in a reggae chorus to explain what can happen in heavy weather…

Seas are getting stormy…I am getting horny,
the only tail I need, is not from a winch but a wench
this is sailing my friend…ain’t it the livin end…

Now … who could take offence to that?

[wingNwing]

Originally Posted by mintyspilot

It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.

Yes, gender-based prejudgements and generalizations and stereotypes hurt everyone ... so why are some of the folks responding to this thread so desperately defending their use of them?

[mintyspilot]

Originally Posted by wingNwing

Yes, gender-based prejudgements and generalizations and stereotypes hurt everyone ... so why are some of the folks responding to this thread so desperately defending their use of them?

I wasn't aware I was defending them....

I'm surprised I haven't morphed into a female given the amount of oestrogen I'm surrounded by. Wife, daughters, female cat, daughters' friends (all female), wife's friends (all female), widow next door and another widow on the other side.

Given that I'm surrounded by that lot 24/7 I think I get on with women rather well Survival requires it!

[wingNwing]

Sorry, mintyspilot, not you - there are those who refuse to acknowledge that their choice of words might - just might - be construed as portraying a less-than-respectful attitude. Then when that's pointed out, they insist the woman is the one who's overly sensitive!

[rtbates]

The captain is in charge of the boat. The Admiral is in chrage of the captain.

[FrankZ]

Originally Posted by Bash

"Galley Wench," on the other hand, carries a certain historical resonance. Would hate to see that one deconstructed.

Hear hear!

[Fishman_Tx]

Like I said in an earlier post..Honestly, I think it's much ado about nothing.

Sorry, need to express myself. All in love, not just fussin'....

The offense to terminology/nicknames used within a relationship, is only relevant to the couple involved. No other opinions matter. If my wife wants to call me "Her Bitch" (not that she does) and I enjoy it, then no one else's opinion matters, whether someone else is offended or not. A lot of "emotional energy" (to borrow your term) has been spent in the pursuit of things that really are no one else's business. Most PCism is a crock anyway, but that's not to say there aren't some legitmate issues. I think there are way too many people out there with a chip on their shoulder, looking to be offended.
As a retired military NCO in charge of other troops, I've seen and dealt with this many times. One soldier was "booted" during training because she felt an instructor had "singled her out" and filed charges accordingly. Of course, it didn't matter that she sat right in front of the podium which was not 3 feet in front of her position and the instructor would likely look in her direction during lecture. After all was said and done she got booted and the instructor was reassigned to cover the PC angle. This guy was the nicest, and one of the best instructors they had. Oh BTW, I was not staff, I was the class leader and had known this soldier for almost 8 months, in and out of the class, every day. This is what happens when people go around with the PC "chip".
I guess to sum it all up...
If my flourescent green T-shirt offends someone, the best thing they need to do is to get over it. I'm certainly not going to change my shirt because they don't like it.

Ok enuf soapbox, the world needs to "lighten up", .
Live, and Let Live.

If Mama likes being called Admiral... then Admiral she is. Whether anyone else likes it or not.

(and I'm still "her bitch") .

Fish

[sarafina]

Originally Posted by rtbates

The captain is in charge of the boat. The Admiral is in chrage of the captain.

yep, got that in one.

I think for most couples is a humorous respectful way of balancing the dynamic that exists in many marriages vis a vis the roles on the boat.

It applys when the guy is the one in the lead position for the immediate stuff; pull that line, put your weight *there*, hold this like this until I say do that with it. pass me the whatchit and get me a whoosit please.

Then the day comes when he thinks that what they really need is that cool new furler he has had his eye on in the sailor's wish book... and then the admiral comes into her own. "well sweetheart, I know you REALLY want that new furler, but the one we have still works, and when we budgeted for the extra haul out and the replacement mattress in the v berth so our backs would stop killing us we really used up the discretionary funds for the next few months. And tuition is due at the Academy for Small Sailors To Be next month... so lets wait on the furler, ok?"

That's why she's the admiral. It acknowledges that while he may be the captain she holds a unique position in the naval chain of command. with a bit of tongue in cheek.

[flysci]

Originally Posted by mintyspilot

It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.

Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha) Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.

That's the topic right? I don't know about others, I was speaking for myself and what I would want/tolerate. Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo

[mintyspilot]

Originally Posted by flysci

Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha)

That's just common sense. Women *can* talk more than men can listen - trust me on this - and for a quiet life it is best to keep her happy. On the plus side a happy wife is so much better than the alternative. Who likes being around miserable so-and-sos?

Originally Posted by flysci

Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.

I suspect in any "proper" relationship, you are too close for any stereotype to survive. After 20 years of marriage I think I've eliminated the stereotypes.

Originally Posted by flysci

Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo

And a good thing too.

[Fishman_Tx]

Originally Posted by sarafina

yep, got that in one.

I think for most couples is a humorous respectful way of balancing the dynamic that exists in many marriages vis a vis the roles on the boat.

It applys when the guy is the one in the lead position for the immediate stuff; pull that line, put your weight *there*, hold this like this until I say do that with it. pass me the whatchit and get me a whoosit please.

Then the day comes when he thinks that what they really need is that cool new furler he has had his eye on in the sailor's wish book... and then the admiral comes into her own. "well sweetheart, I know you REALLY want that new furler, but the one we have still works, and when we budgeted for the extra haul out and the replacement mattress in the v berth so our backs would stop killing us we really used up the discretionary funds for the next few months. And tuition is due at the Academy for Small Sailors To Be next month... so lets wait on the furler, ok?"

That's why she's the admiral. It acknowledges that while he may be the captain she holds a unique position in the naval chain of command. with a bit of tongue in cheek.

Right! This helps balance us out when we fail to see the larger picture due to our tendency to aquire tunnel vision (especially when it comes to new toys, we're like kids in the cereal aisle sometimes).

Originally Posted by flysci

Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha) Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.

That's the topic right? I don't know about others, I was speaking for myself and what I would want/tolerate. Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo

It's all in fun. Wish I had a partner like that. Unfortunately, I married a "Princess" 15 years ago. Won't go into any detail, i'll just leave it at that. Read my signature (last line), says it all.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Fishman_Tx

The offense to terminology/nicknames used within a relationship, is only relevant to the couple involved. No other opinions matter. If my wife wants to call me "Her Bitch" (not that she does) and I enjoy it, then no one else's opinion matters, whether someone else is offended or not.

I completely agree.

It becomes more awkward for me when someone I don't know or just met applies the term to me. It's the same as when someone has questions about gear on our boat and they ask Carol (my husband) instead of me when we are both standing there. I understand why they do it, because on average more men in couples know about the gear specs than the women, but it still rankles.