Baby on shakedown cruise?

[wooden head]

This weekend my son was helping me complete engine head replacement. We were then moving the boat 10 miles to a new marina. His wife wanted to come along with the baby that is about 15 months old. I said no not on the first shakedown on an old wooden boat that hasnt been out for a year. Am I a paranoid old curmudgeon or was this prudent? In protected waters of puget sound on a beautiful day, had no actual problems. Daughter in law's feelings are hurt, and since there was no problem she feels that bears her out. Son says your the captain your boat your rules.otherwise is staying out of it.

[Tellie]

Son says your the captain your boat your rules.

Sons absolutely right.

[NOLA_sailing]

Tell her you just replaced the brakes in your car/truck and want to bring the toddler with you on the highway to see if the brakes work.

[Sea Dreaming]

You completely justified. Who would she blame if something had gone wrong? Its much easier to recover from disappointment than serious injury.

On the other hand, it sounds to me that what she is really wanting is to be included in this great boat project.

As young mom with a 15 month old she may feel left out and out of touch. Help find a sitter for her baby and take her out for an afternoon of sailing fun! I suggest the sitter because she wont really enjoy herself if she has a child to look after.

[barnakiel]

Better cautious than sorry. Your boat your rules.

b.

[tbodine88]

I don't relish 10 hours on a boat with a fussy child. Having spent three hours on an airplane with my fussy child. I think you are all happier despite the hurt feelings.

[wooden head]

Sea dreaming you got the real root of her complaint right if she would allow a babysitter I would have welcomed her without my granddaughter. But that opens another can of worms. I mostly needed a disinterested party to check me if I'm being paranoid or reasonably cautious. They way things went I would have enjoyed having them both along. However I would currently make the same call.

[a64pilot]

Can you imagine how you would have felt if it went bad, with your Grandchild on board?
No, you did right.


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[Snowpetrel]

Consider yourself very lucky to have a daughter in law that likes boats and sailing and is prepared to let her baby onboard. But I think you did the right thing. Maybe schedule another trip soon with her and baby aboard.

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[ryon]

Tell the daughter in law to get her own boat. You made the right call for yours.

[tdoster]

Just reiterate to your daughter in-law that you look forward to many sails and teaching your grandchild to sail and it is because you want to have those days that the first trip has too many possibilities of things going wrong and it is because you care.

I have a lot of respect for your decision and most everyone else will concur that you did the right thing for the right reasons and at the end of the day, that is what counts.

[GregoryK]

I wouldn't take a young child on a shakedown cruise. The point of a shakedown sail is to see if you've overlooked anything critical, and ensure the boat is safe.

How would you and she feel had the boat sprung a major leak? If you had had to abandon ship, a 15 month old won't survive for long in 55 degree water (which form the tables seems about average this time of year in Pugent sound). No where near as long as a healthy adult.

Now that the shakedown cruise is done though, I'd invite her and the baby along for future outings, but I'd also take the time t explain that you excluded the baby out of concern for his/her safety due to the increased risks on the shakedown cruise.

[SVJennie]

On one hand, the captain’s word is law, but there should be a further consideration, i.e., how the captain’s decisions will affect the health (mental or otherwise) of the crew.
However, what is not being put out in the open here is the captain’s comfort level with regards to the engine’s reliability, and the possibility that “something” might go wrong, as well as his/her ability to comfortably deal with the complications that may be encountered while trying to put things right. It should also be noted that especially when it comes to traveling on the water, we all have our own comfort levels, as well as a concern for the others onboard.
While not knowing all the facts, this isn’t necessarily a situation of right and wrong, or that the “captain’s word is law.” However, it is a circumstance where the daughter-in-law needs take a moment to appreciate the feelings of the skipper and why he made the decision not to include her and the toddler.
Though all went well with the passage, what would have been the possible outcomes if something went terribly wrong? In this and in all situations, it should be remembered that we are human beings, not robots, and accordingly, have to live with our own emotions, as well as understand and/or appreciate the feelings of others.
Finally, it should be noted that the skipper was sensitive enough and sufficiently concerned about the daughter-in-law’s feelings that he presented this situation on an open forum.

[seasick]

You guys are full of it. The baby and her mom should have been allowed to go. Puget Sound can get nasty but she gives plenty of forewarning.

In September 1982 we set sail from Puget Sound with our first born daughter, aged three months, in a solid wooden ketch on our shake down sail nonstop to Catalina Is. We got back four and a half years later traveling mostly west. She's probably the youngest kid to ever circumnavigate even if she doesn't remember much about it.

If you don't go to jail for child endangerment, you're golden. The younger the better. You just wrap them up in a corner and they tend to stay there. Why deprive mom of a fun day on the water just because she's bringing your DNA into the next generation.

Her sister was born on the starboard bunk in Spanish waters Curacao and saw her first hurricane before she was three months of age.

[SVJennie]

RE: Seasick,

We are all of different temperaments. Some people get the "willies" just considering about doing an overnighter, while others think absolutely nothing of it. My wife could maneuver our 45' ketch up to a buoy with the precision of a space docking, but would not bring herself to take the boat into a slip. We are not all made the same, and it it is unfair to judge others by what we are capable or not capable of doing. In this case, the skipper decided under the circumstances it would be too much for him to have a baby onboard, and that is it. No one should have been offended and/or hurt.

With that in mind, I have singlehanded thousands of miles, as well as circumnavigated with young children, however, I couldn't put up with even for a few hours what most Mothers manage for many months, if not years.