Is it Worth Giving up Hockey ?

[idpnd]

Hockey is nothing compared to travelling, especially by boat.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by idpnd

Hockey is nothing compared to travelling, especially by boat.

Try telling that to an adolescent hockey star.

[Mambo]

I have a little different take on this -- I don't have kids so my .02 may be worth even less . . .. I don't see this as about hockey. Instead of being about a specific activity, I think it is about "how" you want to raise your kids. Obviously, you're the grownup and both can and should make these decisions -- it is not all that different than moving for a new job. Here, however, you need to decide how important the very real benefits of a traditional upbringing is versus the similarly real benefits of a unique upbringing. I think there are countless factors on either side. I can't imagine raising a son who didn't play baseball -- but I can't imagine staying in suburbia USA to satisfy that need. Unique childhoods makes unique and valuable adults. I think the choice is and should be yours -- specific activities can be replaced (there is a substitute for hockey . . . maybe it is free diving or spearfishing or surfing) but the context in which you spend these years is *your* choice. Seems to me you can't totally protect your kids and you can't totally screw them up either so don't sweat it too much either way!!! And don't forget the value in your kids seeing you live life as they choose to -- on your terms.
Luck,
-M

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by GordMay

His son, the focus of this thread, is 11 y/o and his daughter is 9 y/o.
He's hardly just begun raising his children, and is very rightly concerned with doing the right thing for his family.

Indeed...

[gettinthere]

buy a cruising boat now and take the kids on a month long cruise over the summer, Georgian Bay & North Channel. See if that changes their mind at all.

Don't force them into it, lure them into it!

[bljones]

xort, he's out on the west coast.

[hummingway]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Try telling that to an adolescent hockey star.

Never mind an adolescent ... hockey is what happens when grace and strength combine in a coordinated ballet of grit, determination, individual effort and teamwork. Did I mention GO CANUCKS

I do like sailing better.

[bljones]

Canucks? I thought we were talking about hockey, not figure skating.

[Jim Cate]

G'Day All,

Weighty subject, this! And, not knowing the folks involved personally, hard to give any useful advice.

But, here's an observation: Over the years I've met many kids who were raised in suburbia, playing various organized sports at various levels. Some of them were great kids, but a fair number were so focused on their sport that they failed to develop in other ways. Too, they remained immersed in a culture that is oriented towards consumerism, me-first-ism, isolationism and a whole lot of other -isms that are not particularly wonderful, to say nothing of the ever present worry about drugs in our society..

In our years of cruising, we've met a lot of kids who have been raised in the cruising life. They have ALL been outstanding individuals -- mature beyond their years, interested in the cultures they were surrounded with, responsible and aware of their responsibility, comfortable with adults and kids from other cultures, able to make friends quickly, to say nothing of the specific skills learned whilst sailing/cruising. IMO, the self esteem generated by learning real world skills (standing watch, navigating, maintenance/repairs and so) on will replace the external validation supplied by the hockey.

As parents, we are called upon to make lots of decisions about how to direct our children's lives, and many of the decisions don't go along with what the child wants at the time (eat yo' veggies, do your homework...). I think that the benefits of the cruising life far outweigh the penalties for children... if the parents are up to the challenge of doing the home-schooling, and this is not a small consideration.

So, I wouldn't think that you were the selfish prick above mentioned if you dragged your son away from the hockey rink and shoved him into the cruising life. More, I'd think that you were gifting him with a learning experience that would benefit him throughout his life.

Others may disagree...

Cheers,

Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II lying Russel Is. Qld Oz southbound

[meyermm]

As I see it they already spend two months a year on a boat which is more than most non cruisers get to do so maybe you are being a little impatient. My view is that for most, cruising is for more mature people who are done with rushing around and living life at 100mph, when your young this is called boring. As for the visits from his friends this may cause more trouble as they will spend a lot of time telling him what they have been doing and may be more appealing stuff than sitting on a sailboat. Just another angle!

[maytrix]

Originally Posted by Bill Lee

Let's assume I can convince them - the issue is should I try to? Cheers,
Bill

I don't think it will work out well if you convince them to do it. Perhaps you'll convince them and they'll later realize it was a mistake.

I'd suggets they really need to make the decision. Give them all the facts..etc.

The big question is, while you all enjoy the two months you spend, do you enjoy that time because it is done that way. will you still enjoy it when its your life? How well do you think you can home school and how do your kids treat homework would be other concerns I'd have in your shoes. I know when I was that age, I'd see it as a full time vacation and have a very hard time doing any school work.

I think in the end, the real key is having everyone on the same page about what cruising will mean, where you'll go and what everyone's responsibilities will be, be it school work, cleaning..etc. If everyone agrees that's what they want to do, then do it. If one person doesn't want to go, you'll probably have issues.

[Bill Lee]

Again, thanks for your thoughts. Our 2 months in the summer is a holiday - not a lifestyle. Its hard to provide responses because you don't know my son - I think he'd benefit immensely from the cruising lifestyle. OTOH I don't want him going catatonic I'm sure he'll enjoy the lifestyle and adapt - he's a great kid - but I also don't want to take away something so significant in his life (he loves hockey more than his video games). To an 11 year old this is important - and by 13 or 14 while he may lose interest in hockey (who knows) that may be too late to really get him to benefit from the cruising lifestyle by starting that late. Call me crazy (or what-have-you) - but I don't see this issue as one where the kids get a vote. If my wife and I see eye to eye on moving inland and buying a ranch (say because of a job change) the kids wouldn't have a choice. If we decide its best for the family - the kids wouldn't have a choice either - a voice yes - a vote - no. Not that I would simply put my foot down - there's ways of making this happen and in the most positive way possible. Cheers,
Bill

[maytrix]

There's quite a difference between moving to a new home because of a job change vs a total life change to moving onto a boat.

It's a complete lifestyle change and while you are the parent and can make the decision, making a real life changing decision like this should involve a group decision and discussion.

It sounds like you haven't really discussed it or have you? If I were you, I'd start discussing it as a family to see what everyone's thoughts are on it and if everyone is a go, start planning for it. There's a few blogs I've seen by families that cruise and it seems the best results were those that made this decision as a family and everyone was involved in the planning...etc

[lawdawg]

Bill Lee,
Very glad to hear you say that. I have been following this and if you and your wife are on the same page, I think it is a great opportunity. Too many parents coddle their children and forget that they are the adults and they are the ones that know what is best for them. I am so tired of seeing spoiled children causing a scene in public while their parents try to rationalize with them. I would be willing to bet that if you decide to do this that by 18 your son and daughter will have a degree of maturity and self-confidence that would put to shame most of the adults I know. Not to mention they will be able to see the world around them in an entirely new light and have a better understanding of how to live their lives as responsible adults. A lot of people get older and want to indulge their sense of adventure, whereas you have an opportunity to instill that sort of a spirit in your children and give them a true sense of self-reliance and the knowledge they can weather any storm.
Before my father started his law practice he was a colonel in the army and we moved all over, just not that big of a deal. How they deal with it will be a direct reflection on how you and your wife choose to show them how to handle a new experience and adversity.
My best wishes and I can tell you I would have loved that opportunity.

[maxingout]

When we took our kids sailing, they quickly shifted gears into the world of cruising. They would not trade their adventures or memories for anything. There are lots of ways for a young person to develop self-reliance and good self-esteem while cruising on a yacht. Our kids profited and matured from their cruising adventures. They never had peer group problems, and they didn't have to deal with the toxic waste put out by the media. They watched a few DVDs, but mostly hiked, swam, played volleyball, snorkled, read books, and explored new destinations. I wish my parents had taken me cruising.