Need Women's Opinions - New Liveaboard Couple

[Ocean Girl]

So, Other than the obvious things, what can I do to help her transition to a livaboard a comfortable one?

I didn't see this posted earlier in this thread (sorry if it has already been said).
Be sure to make her an integral part of choosing the boat. We all have different needs and wants, let her look at boats and find out for herself what those basic "must haves" are and what would be nice to have but not critical. Having her along to look at the boats and giving her a say in the process tells her that she is a part of this adventure, not a spectator. If she doesn't like the boat move on, when you find a boat that suits you both - buy it. Your effort to learn how to help her get into this life probably means a lot to her already
Hope this helps,
Erika

PS - If you already have the boat, maybe ask her what you can do improve, new cushions, a better storage compartment, swim platform etc.

[svHyLyte]

It would be wise to obtain a copy of "Changing Course" by Debra Ann Cantrell. See Changing Course: A Woman's Guide to ... - Google Books

In regards the boat you eventually choose, note that it seems to be in the nature of the female of the species to expand [their "stuff"] to 105% of the limits of their habitat.

FWIW...

s/v HyLyte

PS: My wife has just corrected me...it's 110% of the space available.

[CaptBrosnan]

I could see that happening

[wannabesailing]

My husband and I just bought a boat in Florida so you may find my opinion somewhat helpful as a woman. We too are planning to move aboard our boat and cruise the bahamas. It sounds like you have the finances handled. That in itself is huge! The fact that she is willing to try to live aboard and go sailing off into the sunset is a great start! Most women would probably not want to. My advise:
Don't get a boat so big that she can't sail it. Make sure she feels "safe" and of course familiarize her with all emergency situations. Do some short trips to ease her into the lifestyle. Anchor out in a bay for several days so she can get the feel of not depending on land. These are what we are planning to do to help us ease into it. She will be able to decide what comforts she needs to have on board during these trial trips. I also have read all of Lynn and Larry Pardee's books... They are extremely helpful and insightful and offer many years of experience.

[zeehag]

donot NEED a whatsis maker to make anything--do it the old way--i make yoghurt in glass containers --i have some with lids--i also have a boat that doesnt generally sail on its side----sails upright.i have been living onboard in prep for cruising since 1990 and have cruised some--usually in others boats---mine is still under restoration--i have a formosa...lol...just got it one year ago----soon i take it cruising......biggest thing to remember is not to waste anything and keep it simple-keep it small, for what is brought on board--except the repower!!LOL......

[Mermaid]

I would also highly recommend reading "Changing Course" A woman's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Life by Debra Ann Cantrell. It's well written, great research with stats and many perspectives, situations and their outcome. I read it first and then gave it to my husband who was the one that needed to get comfortable with the idea of living aboard. I have been planning on doing this for the past 12 years. He is now onboard with the idea after much reading, sailing classes, sailing trips and tons of research. We decided on the boat (even put an offer on one and OUR broker messed up the deal after the seller agreed to the price - long story ).

RedCharlotte -Thanks for the links, great blog, I will definitely subscribe to it.

Zeehag - can you share your yogurt recipe? As we get ready to liveaboard, I am collecting easy "made from scratch" recipes for breads, pizza, pastries, mayo, and all the other things we normally buy pre-made. Thanks!

[zeehag]

i used to make it just using a dab of plain yoghurt in a glass of whole milk--kept clean and covered and in a cool place--in fremont, kali, i would leave it on my patio!! in the shade in winter...in a corner of the kitchen that doesnt get light or heat---is easy--flavor it after the yoghurt is done--takes a coupla days to a week----i used to have to feed my son foods without preservatives--made a lot of stuff naturally and from scratch---grandparents were young and taught me well!!! the yoghurt is a starter for new ones--make sure the yoghurt you use doesnt have colors or preservatives or flavors in it--these ingredients will make the one you make become sour of rotten in a way you do not wish it to become--sometimes i used a bit of acidophilus bacterium--from milk...instead of regular milk--can use 2 percent milkfat milk or whole milk for this--i donot guarantee anything made with nonfat or fat free milk!!--they sour too fast. the more milkfat, the longer the shelf life--go figger!!!

i recommend the keep it somple sweetheart cookbook--KISS--is excellent--has a bunch of good bread recipes and other interesting stuff in it.....

[Pacific Jewel]

Here's my two cents worth.

Learn your navigation well. Lots of shallows in Bahamas.

Don't yell - particularly at your partner - when things go awry.

When she wants to "do" something or decorate the boat a bit to make it more comfortable, let her. She's trying to find comfort zone too.

You can't hop in your car and race off, and you don't have the other creature comforts of landlife; be tolerant and think before you speak.

Take her out to dinner - on land - every now and then.

Get a bigger boat ;-) (Bigitis; just a disease one gets as a boat owner)

Cheers
PJ

[barnakiel]

DO NOT sign (her) up for any ASA or anything courses. It is not the real life. The real life is you ask your partner if she wants to try it out, and promise her that if it does not work you can always take a brake or move on to something else - something you can BOTH enjoy.

If she gets to like cruising - you will know because she will tell you. If she does not like it, well then you can try to do as much sailing as you want while sharing your non-cruising life with her (if she accepts such a solution - many women won't).

We (me and my girlfriend) started sailing around the world with next to nill knowledge of cruising and we somehow made it. Our little shooter is still in one piece (we have a 26ft monohull) and we are still together - 7 years down the road. You just learn as you go and if there is something you have to learn onshore (unlikely) then you just stop and learn it.

Just go and try it. Go carefully and see if you like it. Becuse it is not about what you can do, it all about what you want to do.

b.

[sgb71]

I've had a feeling since I joined this site that sailors are a lot like bikers. You can ride up to any bar with 20 motorcycles in front of it and walk in to a family reunion/party kind of atmosphere. There's probably one or two you want to keep an eye on (LOL) but for the most part, everyone's looking out for one another and just wanting to have a good time.
Y'all are some good people, and I can't wait to get my hillbilly self hooked up with ya!

[zeehag]

how does that saying go---a family that sails together stays together??
!!!!!

[Ashoreschool]

You have received some excellent advise in this post. There are several good books that may help get her involved in sailing and eventually cruising. A good couple's book is Changing Course by Debra Ann Cantrell, we liked it as it covered sharing "the dream". If her interest expands, we highly recommend Suzanne Giesemann's book It's your Boat Too, as it has some solid fundamental advise for women as well as sailing educational material. If the next step is a sailing class, work together learning the vocabulary in advance. Hopefully sailing can then become something you share as a family vs "your big idea" that she goes along with until that first 5 day off shore adventure, when she walks off the boat and says "never again"

Good Luck with your hopes and dreams

[Pacific Jewel]

I disagree with the person who advises against courses. When we first started sailing, I took courses - all sorts of courses - to gain confidence in myself. It helped. To think of where I started and where I am now, I would strongly encourage any woman - or man - to do what it takes to build that confidence in yourself to take it to the next level.