Non-Sailor Looking For Advice!!

[Kenpimentel]

As a family of 3 that went cruising for 3 years, I'd suggest:
- There are so many ways of enjoying the lifestyle. You can just live on a boat in a marina and do day-sails as you gradually build up confidence and skills before setting off further afield.
- Don't let not knowing how to sail stop you. I took a 1 week sailing course and purchased a 40' sailboat, moved aboard and survived with minor damage.
- If you gradually ease yourself into this lifestyle, you'll minimize the wear and tear on relationships. If you survive the tests (and there will be tests) your family will be closer than ever.
- Be safe and conservative in your thinking and practice, too many others depend on you and your actions to do otherwise.
- If you can do it, first charter a boat for at least a couple weeks to see if you like the experience. Yes, it will be expensive hiring a captain, but it will be more expensive buying a boat, hating it, and selling it.

We sailed with many boat families in the Bahamas, the most had 4 kids - who all loved the lifestyle. We have great memories of the experience.

It won't be easy, but the rewards are there.

[aprilhelen]

aloha dreamer
what goals you have !
mine is lofty also
a school boat
orphanage at sea
teaching that which you seek

only read briefly this thread
pardon if this is a repeat...

how old are you ?
what disability ?
since you posted this
over two months ago
what have you accomplished
specifically, your personal health ?

⛵️����
aprilhelen

[wolfgal]

i think you are right to make sailing a part of your life (one way or another). i met a guy a few years ago (who was selling his boat, a gorgeous Cabo Rico...) who, as a part of his practice as doctor (at the veteran hospital, i believe), used sailing to help veterans with PTSD... he works in charleston, SC. i cannot recall his name, but it might be possible to do a search and get some info. maybe there is a sailing program for vets.

and yes, it is essential to stay in step with your wife. you need her onboard with this more than you can imagine. and do find fun sailing classes that will convince the kids that this is what they want to do as well.

it was my dream to raise my two kids on a sailboat. unfortunately the kids' father wouldn't hear of it. and you are right, getting the kids out there, traveling early, seeing how the real world interacts and survives will help them in ways that no school can. schools just cannot keep up with today's rapid changes... tomorrow will be about adapting to change in all kinds of circumstances while problem-solving. living on a boat will give all of you a crash course in problem-solving. if you can enroll in a diesel engine course and a electricity course, you'd give yourself a needed head start.


for your health (mental and physical), i strongly recommend that you quit sugar altogether and avoid all foods that do not rot:
nuts first thing in the morning (walnuts) to curve your desire for sugar throughout the day. oatmeal and avocado and sweet potato and loads of leafy greens throughout the week. garlic and ginger. lemon juice in your water. once you get the cookie monster out of your gut, you will feel so much better. i hope this for you.

i started eating like this when my father, who was diabetic, came to stay with me a few years ago. now, years later, i'm underweight, and my weight tends to stay stable. it really is about what you put into your body.

wishing you and your wife and nine kids the best!


wolfgal

[Herb Shallcross]

Well, you did arrive at some of the ideas I immediately had, but you might think about chartering for much longer, at least a whole summer before giving up your home on land, and even that ignores the fact that winter is a very different experience on a boat than summer. Camping is fun, but you might not want to live that way permanently. Make sure you have all the issues relative to your kid's schooling worked out. Be sure the school district your home marina is in will recognize you as a resident, or you might be paying for private school.

Be very open with your family, to the point of giving them veto power. if your kids or your wife are continuously miserable the fun will go out of this adventure real quick.

[warefuller]

Is this for real?
Never heard of so many obstacles

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by warefuller

Is this for real?
Never heard of so many obstacles

A Youtube wannabe/dreamer from what the OP wrote himself two pages ago.

[SheltieJim]

I don't have a lot to add to the very good advice many others have offered you, so I'll offer only a few perspectives.

First, everything in life is a tradeoff, and boating is no exception. For example, motor boats are generally easier to handle than sailboats, especially in tight quarters. On the other hand, fuel costs are likely to get higher and higher over time. Every aspect of boating offers this level of tradeoff.

Second, you may think (as I did) that "the wind is free" and therefore a sailboat is a lot less expensive to own. Boy, was I stupid! Yes, the wind is free, but everything else costs a lot. The old saw about a boat being a hole in the water into which one throws money is so true. A sailboat large enough to hold your family will likely involve very large forces, requiring very strong hardware, which costs exponentially more than small boat hardware. (And don't forget that the cost of a boat -- and everything on it -- varies roughly proportional to the cube of the length.)

Third, one reason I love sailing is that there is (literally!) an infinite amount of stuff to learn. Every wave is different, every day is different, every broken part is different. You will, of necessity, keep learning every single day. Some people like this, others don't.

Fourth, it will be a continuing struggle to keep the break-to-fix ratio as close to 1.0 as possible. An ocean-going boat lives in one of the harshest environments on the planet. Worse, a boat deteriorates whether you use it or not -- some people say it deteriorates faster when it's not in use. But, if you are sufficiently handy and can do most of the work yourself (or get your kids to do it!), you should be able to keep expenses at a reasonable level.

Fifth, you and your entire family must have a very high tolerance for close proximity (unrelieved by going for a walk or a drive), for ambiguity (so often, you'll have multiple alternatives and it will be unclear what all the advantages/disadvantages of each are), for uncertainty (especially with weather and seas), and for disappointment (events will sometimes conspire to prevent you from reaching a destination).

Finally, if you can manage all of the items I and others have mentioned and keep a really good balance between despair and exuberance, you may find yourself fulfilling your wildest dreams every day or week. And the sense of accomplishment will be like little else you've experienced.

Best wishes!

[sv Stella Maris]

Jensen: I’m a newbie currently ‘doing it’ with 6 kids aboard: months to double digit. Also medically retired from catostophic accident in public service.

I hurt every hour of every day.

Yes you can.

Yes it’s worth it.

Forget this thread and personal message responses you liked.

Ultimately, hire s/v Totem as consultants like we did. The cheapest best advice you can find.

PM me and we’ll talk on the phone.

[OkiMike]

Family of 5 living on a 53’ ketch. I thought we were cramped, but then heard about that Tasmanian family with 12+ kids on a much smaller boat. That said, each family is different. Some wives won’t be onboard with the idea unless it’s x% the size of something they’re familiar with on land. For us, ours is perfect, but with 12 kids...you’re gonna have to view a lot of boats with everyone in tow to see the reality of it.

Daysailing small craft is nice but you can’t put everyone onboard nor sleep on it so it’ll only take care of the training/comfort piece.

Something I haven’t seen mentioned yet is the layout of the liveaboard you do end up with may be prohibitive for daily/weekly maintenance when everyone is onboard. I have a hard enough time working on stuff on ours during the school week because access to the engine is the galley/salon floor where all the traffic is which means I have to also schedule the stuff for when the wife can take the kids somewhere for a few hours or more.

[redhead]

Originally Posted by SheltieJim

First, everything in life is a tradeoff, and boating is no exception.

Fifth, you and your entire family must have a very high tolerance for close proximity (unrelieved by going for a walk or a drive), for ambiguity (so often, you'll have multiple alternatives and it will be unclear what all the advantages/disadvantages of each are), for uncertainty (especially with weather and seas), and for disappointment (events will sometimes conspire to prevent you from reaching a destination).

Best wishes!

What a terrific way to put it. You nailed it - especially the ambiguity part - if only there were one clear answer - but there seldom is!

[theDangerz]

You do have a lot of obstacles... but most worthy dreams do!

I think sailing is probably the least of your concerns (especially since you seem to not be in a hurry to make this goal).

We had no idea how to sail or live on a boat a few months ago and we're loving the life (and I assure you we wouldn't be here if we had asked for advice or listened to most people).
You actually have far more time to either take lessons, learn by doing, buy a boat to sail now on evenings/weekends, etc (or all of the above).

Don't listen to anyone that tells you it can't happen, and if at least based upon our experience... stop asking for advice (its usually just an open opportunity for someone to tell you why you can't or shouldn't do something.

But since you are currently asking/looking for advice...
While you're already taking these other steps to get healthier, position the family for success - you should also focus on moving into (much) smaller places.

Especially right now since it sounds like you were uprooted by the fire, its could be a great chance to move into a small space and see how it works for the family. Maybe an RV isn't just a good idea for your parents... something like that would give your family a chance to live in a small/tight space, practice the packing/prep cycle before shoving off and/or moving the rig to somewhere new, and would certainly give you plenty of opportunity for everyone to get used to living, making meals, maintenance etc that will most certainly be a part of living on a boat (without the immediate hurdle that get added by living on the water).

[jclester]

Well, let me throw my 2 cents in here.............
Some of our experiences are similar, some not so much.

First, the similarities:

I'm retired military, 21 years. Army 3, Navy 2, Army 16 years.

Disabled, blew out ACL and didn't get it repaired for 2 1/2 years so caused other issues (wore out my knee cap, etc). Lower back compression and nerve damage, too many jumps (or bad PLFs) and 100lbs of "liteweight sh-t".

Was 230lbs, now 196lbs.

Forget about cruising for abit, really just put it on the back burner. Why, well you're be very limited on what you can achieve until you do. I believe it's important to have dreams and goals but I also think you need a few short term one. I get this fixed/ lose this weight and I'll take a safety class, I do this and I'll take a sailing lesson etc etc. You (your family) may change directions before then, but at least you'll be physically able to make a change.

Second, if you don't have a ton of money, or can do an awful (all of the work yourself), it's going to be an uphill climb. Can't tell you what size of boat you need but I'm thinking at least 40. Do you want motor, sail, or both? Again, I'm only going by what I know, but a boat that you can afford for the number of people you have is going to need work.

Marinas are;

1. going to be expensive. So again, you'll need lots of money.
2. when they see 7-9 people coming, they're not going to want you. Especially if your boat looks like it needs repair. You will need 300k liability insurance to pull into most decent marinas for any amount of time.
3. r u going to finance? more insurance and where you can have the boat. Insurance companies (some) don't like Fl, Islands during hurricane season and they won't cover your boat.
4. do you know anything about, nav, tides, currents, etc (not using this to discourage you, but there's lots to learn even before you commit to a boat). Keep you busy and help motivate you towards your goals.
5. anchoring, IMPORTANT, especially if you also want to be able to reduce your costs. Also nice to be safe.
6. DO NOT USE THE TERM "LIVEABOARD". Nobody wants you and some companies won't finance you or insure you if you say you are. Be prepared to move your boat (some/frequently) depending on where it is. Almost everywhere is cracking down, can't stay on the boat more than x number of days in a week/month etc.
There's ways around it but you've got to be an asset to the marina. Boat looks decent/maintained. You're a good customer, pay on time, shop in there facilities (some) etc.

Lot of good advice on here..........just know that the world is not designed for non-traditional lifestyles and be prepared to deal with it.

I'd just like to end with, go for it...........my only real concern is also the one you're best able to judge. When you wrote 9 people, bells went off, couldn't get my head to quit ringing. :-) 9 people is a lot to get all moving in the same direction, you know if you'll be able to or not.

Good luck.
P.S. NOT an Old Salt. Just shared what I've experienced, with just the beginning process......

[Svan]

Slow down on buying a boat. Work your way up to renting.

Both as exercise and to learn sailing, take a *dinghy* sailing course this summer. May actually be the same as one your kids might take. Maybe your wife takes an intro crew and start racing? If you can do distance races on the Great Lakes you’re up for anything. I didn’t catch where you are ?

[Toujours]

As far as being a sailing Veteran, here are some resources / programs to consider:

https://asa.com/schools/florida-keys...g-association/
https://warriorsailing.org/warrior-s...ear-annapolis/

Specifically related to those with PTSD:
Duclay family sailing to heal PTSD suffering Veterans on LI

And, like many other Americans, we thank you for your service.

Best of luck and fair winds and following seas to you and yours.

Brian

[WTRacer]

Hi Jensen. You've had plenty of comments re the sailing bit and no doubt will get more so I won't add further on that, rather I will add comment for one specific area what is no doubt a major goal for you.

A couple of posters have already added valuable posts re your weight, here's mine:


It can be pretty easy to fall into bad habits with food/forget just how damaging certain things are.
I highly recommend settling in for a few hours viewing of the following on YT, the aetiology of obesity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpllomiDMX0

No need to go hungry, no need for silly fads of diet, just sensible healthy eating and some stark facts about calories/carbs and sugars.


Best of luck.