Positive advice for dealing with hyper grandson when sailing on catamaran

[Stu Jackson]

Ann's right.

Once sold a boat to a couple with two little kids. During the test sail she went bonkers, saying to here husband: "We're going to have a make a looong list of all new rules for the kids when we buy this boat."

I asked her if she'd be open to a suggestion. She said yes. I said: "I like to keep it simple, so we only have two rules." She was incredulous - "but, but, but all these things they shouldn't do...!!!"

"One hand for yourself, one for the ship, and please do what I ask you to do when I ask, you can ask me why later."

Works with kids, too.

As Ann said: Philosophically, I believe in rewarding good behavior...

That's a very critical philosophical approach.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by WildFireAus

Hi there love to hear some positive suggestions, ideas, tips on sailing safely with an extremely energetic inquisitive 6 year old grandson. In the beginning it will only be day trips and then might progress to overnight trips. Lovely cute child but is very hyper and can lack self control. It is not an option to not take him. Mum and his brother 8 will be with him. We want this to be enjoyable and safe time for all. Thanks heaps!

Keep a life vest on him. Maybe a little hard love would help?

[Redline452]

Rope, lots of rope.

To play with, of course... learning/practicing knots, etc. My nephews loved tieing ropes to things, the rules were just "don't use the working lines while we're sailing (hence give 'em their own), and "nothing around the neck (just in case - sibling rivalry was a factor).

There was some fascination about dangling or dragging one end in the water, which I never understood, but kept them busy. And they did learn some knots, eventually.

[WildFireAus]

Originally Posted by admiralslater

When I was young my folks put a life jacket on me and tied a line to the mast . I got to go where I wanted and they did not have to worry. Also just because he is energetic does not mean he wants to fall off ,he may understand those very obvious edges. The only hard and fast rule was life jacket . I fell off once and that was enough.It might be a learning experience for everyone .Being on a boat can also be very calming . Have a nice time

Thanks heaps for your suggestions. That must have been so scary falling off - really hoping to prevent this. I like your idea that being on the boat can be calming and this is definitely what he needs. 😊
CHeers Gaye

[Jason Flare]

Originally Posted by Redline452

Rope, lots of rope.

To play with, of course... learning/practicing knots, etc. My nephews loved tieing ropes to things, the rules were just "don't use the working lines while we're sailing (hence give 'em their own), and "nothing around the neck (just in case - sibling rivalry was a factor).

There was some fascination about dangling or dragging one end in the water, which I never understood, but kept them busy. And they did learn some knots, eventually.

When my boys were little I'd cut up line into multiple 6' pieces and give it to them with a book on knots.

We ended up with multiple hangman's nooses throughout the cabin. But it kept them busy and they know their knots.

[WildFireAus]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

We had such a child on board. Inquisitiveness is a sign of intelligence, so keep him busy. He might like to fish, too. Opportunities to swim will help. If he has medications, make sure his mom gives them to him on time. For some truly hyperactive children, coffee with milk in it will calm them down. It is a paradoxical reaction, but the concept is what underlies the use of ritalin and other forms of speed (central nervous system stimulants) to treat hyperactivity. If you already know what he likes, a few age appropriate games might be a useful thing to have along.

Make sure he has enough physical activity during the day to tire him out for sleep at night. Talk to the mother about your concerns, she will have some suggestions, if she thinks about it. All of you want all involved to have a good time.

Philosophically, I believe in rewarding good behavior, and with that in mind, perhaps both he and his brother can earn a turn at the helm under your guidance, a very special treat, that requires some effort to earn. Same thing for access to computer games.

Ann

Ann I love reading your pearls of wisdom and as usual you have come up with some great suggestions. It goes without saying he would have a life jacket and harness on, but we don't want to make the whole experience daunting and just no, no, no all the time. Love your idea of rewarding on the helm. Thanks again.
Cheers Gaye

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by WildFireAus

Thanks heaps for your suggestions. That must have been so scary falling off - really hoping to prevent this. I like your idea that being on the boat can be calming and this is definitely what he needs. 😊
CHeers Gaye

Have a great time Gaye and let us know how it worked out?

[WildFireAus]

Wow everyone what a wealth of knowledge out there. Thank you all very much for suggestions. It goes without saying a harness and life jacket for both kiddos' is a must, but love all the ideas of fishing, tying knots with ropes, tinkering with repairs and teaching them to sail. Without getting in to it, unfortunately they have had a background of severe extreme tough loving, so we are hoping that sailing can become a calming, relaxed and therapeutic experienced for all 3.
Cheers
Gaye

[baycruiser]

A near death experience cured my grandson and was satisfying for me .But most of the advice was pretty good I always had him one on one early in am. and found it a good time for us to really talk and do things the best lifeline is his real attachment with you .GREAT TIME tho I do envy you

[admiralslater]

Originally Posted by WildFireAus

Thanks heaps for your suggestions. That must have been so scary falling off - really hoping to prevent this. I like your idea that being on the boat can be calming and this is definitely what he needs. 😊
CHeers Gaye

Gaye I am glad you liked my suggestions, actually it did not scare me ,my parents always made us wear life jackets so I just bobbed , also it happened at the dock when I was not paying attention, I learned very quickly to pay attention after that .
My folks were very easy going about everything except the lifejacket, even when we moored . If did not want to wear one we had to sit in the middle of the deck (it was a 27 foot Warrham) and not move ,if we wore the jacket we were free to wander and explore. At the end of the summer our faces and arms were nut brown but the back and bellies where white ,often we fell asleep in them .
One thing that my folks did was to allow us to choose our own life jacket from the marine store . We never had to wear those big ugly ones. I think this helped. BTW not wearing them was not an option when underway.

One other thing is that being towed behind the big boat in the dingy is a lot of fun especially if you can get the courage to let him do it on his own, he can drag his hand through the water and other cool things .

When children come out sailing with us now the first thing I do is ask them is "who is in charge of a boat" they answer "the captain" I agree and then tell them that I am the captain and am in charge even of their parents . They quite often like that.

It will be fine

[Barney21]

I suggest you cut down the sugar intake, Only natural sugar as in fresh fruit or honey.
Their teeth will thank you as well.

[WildFireAus]

Originally Posted by baycruiser

A near death experience cured my grandson and was satisfying for me .But most of the advice was pretty good I always had him one on one early in am. and found it a good time for us to really talk and do things the best lifeline is his real attachment with you .GREAT TIME tho I do envy you

Both boys adore their grandfather so we are hoping this can be the outcome! If we are in need of a spare grandfather possibly we should contact you😜😜
Cheers Gaye

[WildFireAus]

[QUOTE=admiralslater;2298528]Gaye I am glad you liked my suggestions, actually it did not scare me ,my parents always made us wear life jackets so I just bobbed , also it happened at the dock when I was not paying attention, I learned very quickly to pay attention after that .
My folks were very easy going about everything except the lifejacket, even when we moored . If did not want to wear one we had to sit in the middle of the deck (it was a 27 foot Warrham) and not move ,if we wore the jacket we were free to wander and explore. At the end of the summer our faces and arms were nut brown but the back and bellies where white ,often we fell asleep in them .
One thing that my folks did was to allow us to choose our own life jacket from the marine store . We never had to wear those big ugly ones. I think this helped. BTW not wearing them was not an option when underway.

Love your ideas. We had tried to take them shopping for life jackets but they weren't keen at the time. Maybe once the boat (just finishing our build now) is in the water I will have more success. I have picked out some funky ones though and I have a pic of it so I might get them to sign off on it! Thanks again. Gaye

[Don C L]

As the dad of an active 6 year-old, I'd say you have a lot of great advice here. In my case, once anchored he still has to wear the PFD all the time because he sinks like a rock! Make sure the PFD is comfortable to wear and really COOL, you know, Batman or Spiderman or something, or just cool colors. While underway he hates the harness, so think of ways to make it cool too, and use your own along with him. A camera could be fun for him too and one that takes videos. My son loves to make a kind of a vlog. One other suggestion that works pretty well for my kids, we have a good inflatable kayak and we take it out at night too. It is not dangerous but the kids still feel a bit anxious and excited about it. It is amazing how they will listen and obey when they are in fear of their lives! Anyway, you can make, or buy commercially, an underwater viewer (basically a bucket with a plexiglass window in the bottom.) Since a lot of creatures come out at night chances are you'll hear a lot of enthusiastic screams when he starts investigating from the dinghy with a bright underwater light. I think you will find this overactive kid will be remarkably settled after a few days of real world challenges and excitement!

[dfelsent]

I've cruised with my two occasionally very energetic now grown boys sons and other's sometimes extremely energetic kids.
I pick the weather. I pick the trip duration. There have been times when my guests want to go for longer or in rougher weather than I think is appropriate for the kids. I make the call. Even hanging on the mooring and exploring the boat can be fun. (I never did find all the flashlight parts) (My son just told me there are infinite flashlight parts lost aboard our previous boat. He is 20 now)
My first rule is it is supposed to be fun! Then I also point out getting hurt is not fun. I do my best to give the kids a piece of real actual responsibility. They step up. Kids want respect and self respect.
Water toys including dink, sailing dink, Kayak, windsurfer, inflatable raft tied to the mothership, pile of life jackets tied together with the challenge of getting on top, boogie boards are all great for warm water when stopped.
Below when it is raining? Games. Helping (for 5 minutes) with actual chores. I keep coloring books, colored pencils, beading supplies aboard. I have even gone ashore and taken a taxi to the movies. Laptop and movie. Uno is a big hit aboard. If you don't know that is a very simple card game.
Again, my advice is keep it light and loose, have fun, enjoy the kid(s) having fun. If they are doing something unsafe tell them and explain why it is unsafe. Kid's are not stupid, just immature.
Enjoy!